Anxiety is something that affects us all.
For some, however, rather than make them hide away looking for safety, they use their anxious feelings to propel them forward, to walk in and give there best interview, presentation, etc.
So to the secret.
Is there one to limit the anxiety that we may feel?
Well, many years ago, I had to work on a project that involved me working with over 150 people. My anxiety levels went through the roof. I wanted to fit in, I wanted my voice to be heard, and connect with as many people as possible, but it wasn’t to be.
I only made a few friends, and even with those people, I couldn’t be fully myself, I had to talk about the project or the subjects that interested them.
It’s only when I left that project and started to work on my own again meeting people one to one, on my own terms did I realise that my personality just didn’t fit with dealing with a lot of people.
The lesson that I learnt was that to have peace and happiness; we have to be true to how you are.
If you feel that you’re at your best when surrounded by a lot of people but sad if you are alone then make sure you are not alone that often, or get an activity that occupies your mind when you are alone.
If you’re like me, feeling at your best when you are alone, then get a job that allows you to work alone.
We can easily avoid a lot of our anxieties by just accepting the way we are. Problems usually arise when we try to be something we’re not.
All your friends could be sociable people, but crowds may make you feel uncomfortable, then if you mention this, you may be made fun off as if you’re not normal or you need to be more confident.
Yes, in some cases this is correct, but if the people that surround you don’t have the same interests or moral standards, it can be a horrible experience.
I have always been interested in the spiritual, and metaphysical, not party-friendly subjects.
Some people love to gossip and have small talk. I’m just not one of those people, meaning I found it very difficult growing up.
For most of my life, I thought that there was something wrong with me, I found it hard to hold conversations because I couldn’t be myself. Conversations with me were serious conversations, people you will find don’t like serious, they want easy, gossip, scandal, or about the latest drama on tv. And there is nothing wrong with that. But I couldn’t do it.
It wasn’t until I removed myself from the environments where materialistic people surrounded me, did my anxiety go away.
The relief I got from no longer having to be something that I was not, I can not describe in words.
Do you feel trapped?
Maybe at the moment, you’re in an unhappy relationship because you just go along with the other person. After all, their happiness means more to you than your own happiness. And that is lovely that you love them that much.
But you’re not true to yourself.
If the moment that you stand your ground and make your voice heard you are shot down, or an argument commences then this is an unhealthy relationship.
One in which will not work long term, and if it does it means that you will have sacrificed your happiness for the other person’s happiness.
True love is when both people make sacrifices.
This is just one example.
Another could be that you’re in friendship and your friend or friends love getting very drunk at the weekend spending all their money, you on the other hand like to have a good time but want to save a little money. Not live week to week, spending most of your weekend recovering in bed feeling unwell.
Peer pressure can lead to a lot of anxiety, you can easily follow other people down a road that you don’t feel comfortable, and the longer you follow them, the harder it becomes to walk your own path.
Happiness is the product of living life the way that you want to, not caring what others think.
These are just two examples, but the list goes on. There are so many areas of our lives that we do certain things to fit in, to be liked.
Yes, we all want to be accepted, but if being accepted means that you compromise who you are. Is that what you want?
In my experience anxiety builds up in your life until the point that it overpowers you. You then think that you’re an anxious person, that it will not go away…
This is not the case
Please take a look at your life, look at all the situations or people that make you feel anxious and make some changes. It could be to change jobs; it could be to limit the time you spend with certain people to see if it helps.
It could even be to spend less time on social media or turn off notifications if seeing constant updates of the people you know having a good time makes you feel sad and lonely.
See how your life improves.
Growing up, I gave my power away to others, thinking I was the person with the problem when, in fact, I was just a spiritual person that was surrounded by people that were more material focused. I was no better, just different.
What I looked at as a weakness was a strength.
To lower your anxiety, be honest with yourself, are you living life to impress and make others happy?
Are you surrounded by people in your work and social life that don’t have the same interests as you? Where you have to put on an act to fit in?
If the answer to any of the questions was YES, then start to make some changes, and you will notice how your anxiety level subsides.
Thanks for reading.