Not Everyone Who Shakes Your Hand is your Friend

In this land of friends and followers, on-paper it can seem like we have lots of friends, but when you are in trouble, you quickly find out that you are lucky if you can count your friend list on the one hand.

Then the people that are there for you in your time of need, in your time of encouragement they don’t help you.

I have close friends that are good support when I’m in trouble and I need advice, but when I need some feedback creatively, they will not reply.

This has always confused me?

Why would someone offer support but not feedback, not want you to be in pain or suffering but then not give you praise?

Maybe we judge others on our own standards.

If someone asked me for my opinion on something I would give my opinion, I would pick out the best part; I would say something to make that person continue their writing, their art, their music etc.

A wise person once said to me, “Not everyone who shakes your hand is your friend.”

It took me a few years to see the wisdom within them words. Life is hard, and it is no harder for you than the next person. You may look at your rich friend that has a fancy BMW, lovely house,, and family and think they have such a good life, but maybe their marriage is on the verge of a break-up.

Each of us is rich in different ways.

I guess my main point is, everyone needs encouragement in life, everyone is facing their own problems and all that we can do as friends is to treat everyone in our lives the way we would want to be treated.

No matter how good someone is at something, they still need a few words of encouragement. Even a few words can make the difference between them continuing and stopping. Being depressed thinking no-one cares, or being happy that one person does.

You have that power to help the people that are around you, USE THAT POWER TODAY.

Gaining Trust

It’s so easy to let the troubles of the world get to us. We can become worried, anxious and depressed. Thinking that we have made too many mistakes.

Locked in the past, we are unable to move forward.

Without growth, we become unhappy, unaware of what went wrong.

A lot of our problems in life is when we become too attached to our feelings. It’s essential in these moments to connect with nature to let go, trusting that the ideas, the inspiration, the right people will show up to help us on our way.

Keep trusting and moving forward. đŸ™‚

The Secret to Less Anxiety Revealed!

anxiety

Anxiety is something that affects us all.

For some, however, rather than make them hide away looking for safety, they use their anxious feelings to propel them forward, to walk in and give there best interview, presentation, etc.

So to the secret.

Is there one to limit the anxiety that we may feel?

Well, many years ago, I had to work on a project that involved me working with over 150 people. My anxiety levels went through the roof. I wanted to fit in, I wanted my voice to be heard, and connect with as many people as possible, but it wasn’t to be.

I only made a few friends, and even with those people, I couldn’t be fully myself, I had to talk about the project or the subjects that interested them.

It’s only when I left that project and started to work on my own again meeting people one to one, on my own terms did I realise that my personality just didn’t fit with dealing with a lot of people.

lesson

The lesson that I learnt was that to have peace and happiness; we have to be true to how you are.

If you feel that you’re at your best when surrounded by a lot of people but sad if you are alone then make sure you are not alone that often, or get an activity that occupies your mind when you are alone.

If you’re like me, feeling at your best when you are alone, then get a job that allows you to work alone.

We can easily avoid a lot of our anxieties by just accepting the way we are. Problems usually arise when we try to be something we’re not.

All your friends could be sociable people, but crowds may make you feel uncomfortable, then if you mention this, you may be made fun off as if you’re not normal or you need to be more confident.

Yes, in some cases this is correct, but if the people that surround you don’t have the same interests or moral standards, it can be a horrible experience.

spiritual

I have always been interested in the spiritual, and metaphysical, not party-friendly subjects.

Some people love to gossip and have small talk. I’m just not one of those people, meaning I found it very difficult growing up.

For most of my life, I thought that there was something wrong with me, I found it hard to hold conversations because I couldn’t be myself. Conversations with me were serious conversations, people you will find don’t like serious, they want easy, gossip, scandal, or about the latest drama on tv. And there is nothing wrong with that. But I couldn’t do it.

It wasn’t until I removed myself from the environments where materialistic people surrounded me, did my anxiety go away.

The relief I got from no longer having to be something that I was not, I can not describe in words.

Do you feel trapped?

relation

Maybe at the moment, you’re in an unhappy relationship because you just go along with the other person. After all, their happiness means more to you than your own happiness. And that is lovely that you love them that much.

But you’re not true to yourself.

If the moment that you stand your ground and make your voice heard you are shot down, or an argument commences then this is an unhealthy relationship.

One in which will not work long term, and if it does it means that you will have sacrificed your happiness for the other person’s happiness.

True love is when both people make sacrifices.

This is just one example.

drhnkk

Another could be that you’re in friendship and your friend or friends love getting very drunk at the weekend spending all their money, you on the other hand like to have a good time but want to save a little money. Not live week to week, spending most of your weekend recovering in bed feeling unwell.

Peer pressure can lead to a lot of anxiety, you can easily follow other people down a road that you don’t feel comfortable, and the longer you follow them, the harder it becomes to walk your own path.

Happiness is the product of living life the way that you want to, not caring what others think.

These are just two examples, but the list goes on. There are so many areas of our lives that we do certain things to fit in, to be liked.

Yes, we all want to be accepted, but if being accepted means that you compromise who you are. Is that what you want?

In my experience anxiety builds up in your life until the point that it overpowers you. You then think that you’re an anxious person, that it will not go away…

This is not the case

Please take a look at your life, look at all the situations or people that make you feel anxious and make some changes. It could be to change jobs; it could be to limit the time you spend with certain people to see if it helps.

It could even be to spend less time on social media or turn off notifications if seeing constant updates of the people you know having a good time makes you feel sad and lonely.

See how your life improves.

Growing up, I gave my power away to others, thinking I was the person with the problem when, in fact, I was just a spiritual person that was surrounded by people that were more material focused. I was no better, just different.

What I looked at as a weakness was a strength.

To lower your anxiety, be honest with yourself, are you living life to impress and make others happy?

Are you surrounded by people in your work and social life that don’t have the same interests as you? Where you have to put on an act to fit in?

If the answer to any of the questions was YES, then start to make some changes, and you will notice how your anxiety level subsides.

Thanks for reading.

How to Get The Anxious thoughts to Stop Racing Around Your Head at This Difficult Time

how-to-stop-anxious

This is an anxious time for all. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, what religion you are or the colour of your skin, or even your sexual orientation.

Even if you live away from all the hotspots where the virus is at its worse, economically you will most probably be feeling the effects.

Without question this has to be the highest level of worldwide fear I have witnessed in my life time.

When surrounded with so much fear, what can you do?

In the Gospel of Matthew there it says:

Matthew 13:12 (NKJV)
For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.

There is a lot of debate about the meaning of the verse above, but today  I would like to link it to current events.

So, for those that have faith, to him/her more will be given, and they will have abundance; but too whoever does not have faith, even the little that they have will be taken away.

In the last six weeks, I have seen a lot of people anxious, wanting the truth. So they search the internet for answers, for the whys, and the how’s?

Only to be met with countless conspiracies, which fuels their anxious feelings.

If you don’t know what a conspiracy is, well that in my opinion, is a good thing, but the dictionary term is, a secret plan by a group to do something unlawful or harmful.

When people go down this route, then the little faith that they have will be taken away from them.

What You Focus On Grows

In moments of fear, you need to feed your faith. That way, the faith that you have will be multiplied.

One of the most dangerous things that you can do at this time is to focus on the fear, feeding your mind with content that makes your anxiety worse.

Throughout scripture, and down through history, people have come up against hardship, and in all cases, they have came back stronger than they were before. And the main thing that got them through was their FAITH.

If you’re feeling anxious at this time, I would recommend looking back on your life, at a time when you were very anxious over something. It could have been waiting for exam results, or medical results. Maybe over your future or that of a family member or friend.

It probably felt just as intense as it does now, you probably thought then that all your fears would become reality? You probably didn’t know how you would be able to move on.

But now looking back, events turned out a lot better than you would ever have imagined.

Now is one of those time.

There is a quote, ‘It’s impossible to see the picture when you are in the frame.”

picture frame

Wisdom comes from the ability to see our current events through the lens of the past. You are able to use the knowledge you have gained to step outside the current frame of fear, anxiety, stress, worry, and know that all will be ok.

Like all the other anxious moments in your life, this worldwide uncertainty will pass. You will get stronger and strengthen your character and faith.

The Most High God is in control.

Mental Health v Gold

Your mental health is your most valuable asset. So take care of it as such. The next 6-12 months are going to be a very uncertain road. Please don’t look for certainty within the media.

In scripture it says, guard your mind.

Never have them words been so essential to follow.

You will find that you may even have to guard yourself against the friends and those that you follow on social media that share all the latest facts and figures.

Starting your day off with the latest tragedy is the last thing that you need.

The first hour of the day for me is about connecting with NATURE and the body through EXERCISE. Both being vital for good mental health.

Collectively we must have faith; we must believe that there will be a better tomorrow. What we choose to focus on will grow in our lives, so focus on faith for the next week and see the difference that it makes.

It’s A Time To Pray. It’s A Time To Show Love. It’s A Time To Connect To The World Around You.

Thanks for reading.

Enjoy your weekend.

Do You Feel Like You’re Walking in Circles?

walking in circles

A Biologist experimented with what he called ‘processional caterpillars’. He lined up caterpillars on the rim of a pot that held a plant so that the lead caterpillar was head to tail with the last caterpillar, with no breaks in the parade.

The tiny creatures walked around the rim of the pot for a full week before they died of exhaustion and starvation. Not once did any of them break out of line and venture over to the plant to eat.

Food was only inches away, but their follow-the-crowd-instinct was stronger than the drive to eat and survive.

The same thing happened to an entire generation of Israelites. They walked in circles in the wilderness for 40 years, even though they were only 11 miles from the promise land.

 

If you’re in a rut today, ask yourself these three questions:

 

Is this rut of my own making?

We choose a rut because it’s comfortable and requires no risk. And getting out of it requires courage and a willingness to make tough choices you follow through on.

 

Who am I following?

We adopt certain patterns because someone has taught them to us directly, or by example. Instead of mindlessly following the crowd, seek God’s will for your life and commit yourself to doing it.

 

Where am I going?

The Bible says, ‘Where there is no vision, the people perish’ (Proverbs 29: 18 KJV).

 

If you want to get out of the rut, you’re in today, ask God to give you a vision for your life — He will. And when he does, Pour yourself into it. Begin 2020 on the right foot.