You Don’t Have To Attend Every Argument You’re Invited To

You have 7 seconds after a thought to make a decision, and in my opinion, it all depends on the type of person. Some people don’t think— they react.

The more spiritual you become, the more that you will notice the gap, now that’s not to say you will not still react to something that you don’t agree with, but if at that moment you feel the need to reply as you know the person is wrong or have their facts wrong.

Take a moment to think… will me replying help the situation? If the person is sensitive or doesn’t take feedback very well, no matter how you correct them, it will not go down well.

Many people in my life can not take being corrected, so what I have learnt to do is go along with them.

Now I’m not perfect, I still reply when I know it’s the wrong thing to do, but the more that you can bite your tongue, and keep your thoughts to yourself the happier you will be.

If someone is continually annoying you the best approach you can take is wait until the right moment to give them constructive feedback, there is a better chance of a good response, and your feedback listened too.

The Secret to Less Anxiety Revealed!

anxiety

Anxiety is something that affects us all.

For some, however, rather than make them hide away looking for safety, they use their anxious feelings to propel them forward, to walk in and give there best interview, presentation, etc.

So to the secret.

Is there one to limit the anxiety that we may feel?

Well, many years ago, I had to work on a project that involved me working with over 150 people. My anxiety levels went through the roof. I wanted to fit in, I wanted my voice to be heard, and connect with as many people as possible, but it wasn’t to be.

I only made a few friends, and even with those people, I couldn’t be fully myself, I had to talk about the project or the subjects that interested them.

It’s only when I left that project and started to work on my own again meeting people one to one, on my own terms did I realise that my personality just didn’t fit with dealing with a lot of people.

lesson

The lesson that I learnt was that to have peace and happiness; we have to be true to how you are.

If you feel that you’re at your best when surrounded by a lot of people but sad if you are alone then make sure you are not alone that often, or get an activity that occupies your mind when you are alone.

If you’re like me, feeling at your best when you are alone, then get a job that allows you to work alone.

We can easily avoid a lot of our anxieties by just accepting the way we are. Problems usually arise when we try to be something we’re not.

All your friends could be sociable people, but crowds may make you feel uncomfortable, then if you mention this, you may be made fun off as if you’re not normal or you need to be more confident.

Yes, in some cases this is correct, but if the people that surround you don’t have the same interests or moral standards, it can be a horrible experience.

spiritual

I have always been interested in the spiritual, and metaphysical, not party-friendly subjects.

Some people love to gossip and have small talk. I’m just not one of those people, meaning I found it very difficult growing up.

For most of my life, I thought that there was something wrong with me, I found it hard to hold conversations because I couldn’t be myself. Conversations with me were serious conversations, people you will find don’t like serious, they want easy, gossip, scandal, or about the latest drama on tv. And there is nothing wrong with that. But I couldn’t do it.

It wasn’t until I removed myself from the environments where materialistic people surrounded me, did my anxiety go away.

The relief I got from no longer having to be something that I was not, I can not describe in words.

Do you feel trapped?

relation

Maybe at the moment, you’re in an unhappy relationship because you just go along with the other person. After all, their happiness means more to you than your own happiness. And that is lovely that you love them that much.

But you’re not true to yourself.

If the moment that you stand your ground and make your voice heard you are shot down, or an argument commences then this is an unhealthy relationship.

One in which will not work long term, and if it does it means that you will have sacrificed your happiness for the other person’s happiness.

True love is when both people make sacrifices.

This is just one example.

drhnkk

Another could be that you’re in friendship and your friend or friends love getting very drunk at the weekend spending all their money, you on the other hand like to have a good time but want to save a little money. Not live week to week, spending most of your weekend recovering in bed feeling unwell.

Peer pressure can lead to a lot of anxiety, you can easily follow other people down a road that you don’t feel comfortable, and the longer you follow them, the harder it becomes to walk your own path.

Happiness is the product of living life the way that you want to, not caring what others think.

These are just two examples, but the list goes on. There are so many areas of our lives that we do certain things to fit in, to be liked.

Yes, we all want to be accepted, but if being accepted means that you compromise who you are. Is that what you want?

In my experience anxiety builds up in your life until the point that it overpowers you. You then think that you’re an anxious person, that it will not go away…

This is not the case

Please take a look at your life, look at all the situations or people that make you feel anxious and make some changes. It could be to change jobs; it could be to limit the time you spend with certain people to see if it helps.

It could even be to spend less time on social media or turn off notifications if seeing constant updates of the people you know having a good time makes you feel sad and lonely.

See how your life improves.

Growing up, I gave my power away to others, thinking I was the person with the problem when, in fact, I was just a spiritual person that was surrounded by people that were more material focused. I was no better, just different.

What I looked at as a weakness was a strength.

To lower your anxiety, be honest with yourself, are you living life to impress and make others happy?

Are you surrounded by people in your work and social life that don’t have the same interests as you? Where you have to put on an act to fit in?

If the answer to any of the questions was YES, then start to make some changes, and you will notice how your anxiety level subsides.

Thanks for reading.

How to Stop Worrying Clear Your Head from Anxious Thoughts and Get Through This Difficult Time

lockdown

Not too long ago, we all had busy lives, unable to find the time to do anything. So busy chasing happiness.

If you enjoyed your job, you might have been looking for a promotion, if not, probably looking for another position or something better.

Social media can make our friends look like they’re having more fun and more success than we are. It’s so easy to look at others to see how our life compares—making us feel that we should have a similar level of success.

It’s so easy with disappointments and setbacks to become upset, annoyed or even depressed.

Then you can start to play the blame game, “if only I had more time if only I had no pressure at work if only I had the energy, “why am I so tired all the time.”

You turn to God for help, but nothing happens. So, you pray for the remainder of the month. Still nothing

Soon you become angry, as you want a quick fix.

Quick fix

Your anger turns to frustration. You begin to wonder whether God is listening at all. You start to wonder whether to continue to pray or not.

Your patience is tested, so you give up.

Why do you think your prayers are not answered?

Could it be partly that you only pray in times of crisis?

Could it be that you don’t realize that God likes to work at a much slower pace than our 24/7 world?

Could it be that you have allowed the distraction of life to pull you away from what really matters?

Living stressed or worried is not what life is about. It may be unknown to you, but God has already given you many daily blessings?

There are hundreds of miracles you receive every day, but you can easily take them for granted. The main ones would be our health unless we are sick. We can take for granted all the food, services, and information that is available to us until it’s not available.

You may not feel rich, but when you have a loving family, good friends and your basic needs met what else do you need?

gratitude 2

A Short Story

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which read, “I am blind, please help.”
There were only a few coins in the hat – spare change from folks as they hurried past.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words.

Then he put the sign back in the boy’s hand so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon, the man who had changed the sign returned to see how things were.

The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but differently.” I wrote, “Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it.”

Both signs spoke the truth. But the first sign said the boy was blind, while the second sign conveyed to everyone walking by how grateful they should be to see.

There are so many special moments happening in our life to celebrate each day.

grateful

How many time have you counted your blessings?

A few years ago, I did a 30-day gratitude challenge. The challenge was to write down ten things you were thankful for each day. I thought I would run out of things to write after a week but what the exercise did was open up my mind to all the people, services and resources that I take for granted.

Gratitude is a powerful virtue.

The Roman philosopher Cicero once declared: “Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others.”

I wish yourself, family, and friends health and happiness during this difficult time.

thank you

In these Fearful Times Has Your Faith Been Shaken?

In difficult times, it can feel like your losing your faith. Your confidence can fade, doubts can start to creep in… and before you know it, your mood has changed.

Usually happy and carefree, now you take everything seriously.

People comment on your change of behaviour, but all that seems to do is deepen your negative mood. Annoyed and anxious, you take yourself off somewhere that you will not be disturbed.

Maybe you can relate?

What happened?

You lost your faith.

Coming up to the New Year I had so many plans for 2020; I had a few legal issues that were almost resolved after months of delay then within 90 days, the world went into lockdown.

My perfect plan was put on hold.

dominos2

Like me, maybe some of your important plans got delayed, and like a row of domino’s falling, one delay led to another, and another… One negative thought led to another, and another… leading to your life feeling out of control.

It’s not your fault. With the world stopping everyone is affected.

Fountain of Youth

When I was younger, when I would become fearful, my dominos would fall, and they would stay down for weeks, maybe even months. Mainly because I had no idea why they had fallen, they were so neatly arranged and spaced.

Everything looked so good.

The problem was I spent most of my time questioning why is it happening? Rather than what was I going to do, or change, so that it wouldn’t happen again.

Difficulties in life will knock down your dominos. That’s just a fact. You can’t stop it from happening, but you can change what you do when they fall.

At this moment, everyone is fearful, locked in their homes glued to the news, which is doing nothing more than driving more fear into their hearts.

Fear can quickly drive out all the faith that you have within.

In scripture it says, More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it (Proverbs 4:23 CEB).

Protecting your mind, means its up to you to cancel out all the fear coming from the media. Its up to you to feed your mind with faith and keep that faith at its highest level.

to blesses

Feed Your Mind With Positivity

In times like these, we need to focus on reading the word of God. We need encouraging words; we need to listen to people that bring us up, that make us feel better about ourselves and humanity.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Matthew 6:25-27
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

 

In my opinion, the news is poison, designed to do one thing— keep you in fear.

So, during this challenging time when you feel like your faith is fading, realise what has happened. You’ve let your dominos fall. You let one negative thought roll into another, and another… and another.

Finding your faith happens when you realise that no matter how bad your story is right now, you can change it. With faith, belief and hard work, you can turn everything around.

It’s your story, God has a plan for you, and you are the hero.

The people in your life need you to save the day. They need you to be the best that you can be, to give them value, showing them faith and encouragement.

In this difficult time, work on your faith, feed your mind with content that inspires you, motivates you, and makes you stronger.

Share your faith with others. 

Let’s use this lockdown as — a time of growth, a time of sharing, a time to make this world a better place. 

Can You Set A Goal to be Free From Worry and Anxiety?

a-life-free-from-anxiety-

Anyone that has experienced worry or anxiety may never think of setting it as a goal to be free from it, but this is what in my opinion you must do.

I once heard a quote from Jim Rohn, a famous motivational speaker, which had a deep impact on me. “Don’t set a goal to be successful just to be successful, set a goal to be successful for the person that it will make off you to achieve it.”

So don’t set a goal to be free from worry and anxiety, just to be free from worry and anxiety. Set a goal to be free from worry and anxiety for the growth in character that you will experience. So that you first hand understand the shift that takes place.

You can’t just wish anxiety away; you must actively work towards achieving that goal. All fear has a source, and if you run from it or deny it, then you will never overcome it.

Wall of Fear

Fear is the main obstacle in life, and it comes in many forms. Fear is what pushes most people back, keeping them locked in a place they cannot escape. But, if you don’t push yourself through what you fear, you will never fulfil your true potential.

One of my favourite quotes is by Marianne Williamson, who once said,

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

Deep down within us, we know what we are capable of. We have unique talents and abilities, but rather than share them with the world; we hide behind our fears.

Fears grow because we feed them. For example, Let say you are afraid of social situations; you feel intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected.

That may cause you to avoid social situations, but this will only cause fear or anxiety to get worse. Remember, ‘you are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.’

A few years ago, I suffered intense anxiety which shook me to my core. Until that point, I thought anxiety was something that could be overcome easily, but I was mistaken.

There were moments I thought I might never recover, but I never gave a voice to them fearful thoughts. I spoke words of faith. Saying things like, ‘I will do whatever it takes to overcome this anxiety.’ There is power in the spoken word.

Rather than let fear win, I set a goal to do whatever it took to overcome the anxiety. That decision brought me on a journey of discovery.

In the end, it took a combination of methods to overcome. It took discipline to apply the techniques instead of just panicking. But it was worth it. My search led me to ETF tapping, a technique that helped me greatly.

Within two weeks, the anxiety had subsided noticeably, giving me the feeling that I was in control. Within a couple of months, the intense fear was gone.

The experience changed me; it made me more grateful for everything. I became more humble and less stressed. All the little things that annoyed me in the past seemed insignificant.

I learnt so much. I learnt the power of a walk in nature, the birds singing and the sound of a stream.

I wouldn’t wish what I went through on my worst enemy but it made me a better person, it increased my faith, my compassion, and it made me more patient with others.

Facing your fears is not easy; I will tell you straight. Sometimes prayer alone will not work; you will need to put action behind your faith. You will need to consistently and persistently do what is necessary.

The good news is… when you face your fears, the real reward is the person that you will become. A more influential, healthier, wiser person that is more connected to the world around you. Someone more compassionate, empathic and loving towards others. Someone that is a step closer to God.

Decide to face a fear today and witness the difference that it will make.

Philippians 4: 6-7 NIV
Do not be anxious about anything , but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presents your requests to GOD, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.