Tag: relationships
Inspiration of the Day
Who’s that hiding behind the screen?
The other day having a coffee a group of college students walked in and took a seat, without a word they took their phones out and scrolled for a few minutes. Then they started chatting; it was as if the phone was protection, used to fuel the conversation, when it got going the phones went down for a few minutes, then it was back to the phones.
This pattern seemed to continue on repeat.
Technology is amazing, but for many, it’s the screen they hide behind.
Have we got so afraid of who we are that we need facebook, snapchat and other apps to fuel our conversations?
It got me questioning what are we searching for in all these apps? Is it meaning, is it approval, is it acceptance?
For me, life is about connecting with people; it’s about listening, it’s about helping each other.
We all crave attention we all want to be accepted by others, so much so that sometimes we can forget the only relationship that matters. Our relationship with God.
The problem with our spiritual connection is, it’s subtle. So subtle that many take it for granted. Plus it takes relaxation, calmness and peace and when do we have time for that?
I have nothing against technology; only for it I would not be talking to you today, but it’s so important that we take time to switch it off.
When I started to do this, I found myself feeling very sleepy and often fell asleep. Smartphones laptops and tv continuously stimulates the mind; it’s unable to rest. Over weeks and months, it can wear you down.
When you don’t give your mind a rest, all the tension and stress builds up, which can lead to illness and pain.
If you feel overwhelmed at this time, I highly recommend trying the following. Take time today, whatever you can spare and close your eyes.
Feel the world around you, the noises, the sensations in your body, feel Gods presence and know that you are loved, and accepted.
Be still with no distractions. It could be in the form of prayer, a walk in nature, or a lay down on your bed.
When you give yourself this time stress, and tension will subside, you will see problems and difficulties from a new perspective.
Done regularly you will see significant changes in your life.
Take-a-Break
I have a no phones rule when I meet a friend for coffee or lunch. One to one meetings gives others an opportunity to open up to you with anything that might be troubling or worrying them. Continually checking notifications can come across that you’re not interested in what a friend is saying, and this is not an impression I want to give.
Remove the screens and have more profound connections.
Thanks for reading.
Rev J Martin
5 Common Habits of Unhappy People
Most of our un-happiness comes from our own thinking, behaviour and habits. Today I would like to share 5 of the most destructive habits that can create un-happiness in your life.
After each habit I will go over some ways that can help you overcome some of the habits and live a better life.
Negative Friends
If you are surrounded with people that have little or no faith this will start to affect you in the long-term. Who we socialize with, what we read, watch and listen to, has a massive effect on how we feel and think.
It becomes a lot harder to be happier if you let yourself be influenced by negative voices. Voices that tell you that life will always be the way it is, that its better you learn to be happy where you are. Voices that watch life from a negative limited perspective.
How to overcome this habit:
Replace those negative voices with more positive ones. Surround yourself with new people to see the difference it can make. All your old friends will be exactly where you leave them if you ever want to return. This alone can be like a whole new world opening up.
Spend time with positive people, listen to inspiring music and read motivational books, watch movies and TV-shows that make you laugh and think about life in a new way.
What I found very helpful was starting out small. For example, listen to an inspiring audiobook on YouTube while eating breakfast in the morning, rather than listening to the news that is filled with negativity.
Getting Stuck in the Past and Future
Spending much of your time in the past, reliving old painful memories, conflicts, missed opportunities can hurt a lot. Spending your time in the future and imagining how things could go wrong at work, in your relationships and with your health can lead to a lot of un-happiness. Life is about living in the present.
How to overcome this habit:
It is pretty much impossible not to think about the past or the future. And it is of course important to plan for tomorrow and next year and to try to learn from your past, but to dwell on those things rarely helps.
What I found to be very helpful is to focus on what I can do today. I do out a timetable each day of all the things that I need to do. Constantly working towards my bigger longterm goals. If I do find myself thinking of the past or future too much I recite a short prayer to centre my thoughts.
Worry and doubt all stem from dwelling on the past or thinking about the future.
What I find very helpful is going for a walk in nature, or changing my surroundings by visiting a friend or relative. Being at home is the worst place to be if there is something troubling you.
Comparing Yourself To Others
One very common and destructive habit is to compare yourself to other people. People compare cars, houses, jobs, relationships, social popularity and so on. The list can be endless. All this does is create a lot of negative feelings.
How to overcome this habit:
Compare yourself to yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself.
See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. Doing this has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe what you have achieved, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.
When we judge ourselves we tend to judge others also. Luke 6:37 “do not judge, and you will not be judged.” Try to only focus on the positives in yourself and those around you. When we judge it’s usually because we have unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves.
By letting this all go and just accepting who you are faults and all, you will be instantly happier and have better relationships with others.
Focusing on the Negative Details in Life
Most people focus on the dark clouds rather than the silver lining. When you look at the negative aspects of a situation that is a sure way to make yourself unhappy. You can even drag down the mood for everyone around you.
How to overcome this habit:
Overcoming this habit can be difficult. Something that has worked for me is to look for the good in the situation, it can be hard to see but it is always there. If things didn’t work out for you, maybe its not the right time, or a better opportunity is around the corner.
What can easily happen if your not careful is you can be so buried in self-pity that you miss out on the reason that you had the setback. For example, you attend an interview and don’t get the job. You take the rejection personally, thinking you haven’t got what it takes and don’t even look for another job when the perfect one is waiting for you.
Overcomplicating Life
Life at times can be complicated but more often than not we can be the ones that make it so. This ultimately creates stress and unhappiness. The world is becoming more complex but that doesn’t stop us from making some new habits to make it easier.
How to overcome this habit:
Splitting your focus and having your attention all over the place is certain to lead to unhappiness. Concentrate on one thing at a time. Have a to-do-list of 4-5 important things that need completed throughout the day.
Work on the first until it is complete then move on to the next. This simple strategy saves time, and will triple your productivity. Plus, at the end of the day you will feel happy.
Another thing that can overcomplicate life is having too much stuff. A solution can be to ask yourself: have I used this in the past year? If not then give it away. This can create so much space within your home. A cluttered living space reflects a cluttered mind.
Relationships can be the most complicated thing in life. What has helped me greatly in this department is communication. Reading minds is impossible. Minimise unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings and negativity.
When stressed, worried or lost in a problem, breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body and mind.
Then you can start focusing on doing what is most important for you again.
Thanks for reading. Have a good week.
Rev J Martin
How Your Phone Can Increase Your Faith
Try for one day to keep track of every time you pick up your phone. With some research showing that we pick up and put down our phones 150 times a day, just logging it may become a challenge.
Now, I’m not asking you actually to take a note, but for one day try to do a mental one. You will quickly get a sense of how much time you are focused on activities and how much time you are being distracted.
So why am I talking about this today?
Well, as the saying goes, ‘replace a negative with a positive.’ So if you have negative habits replace them with positive ones.
Of course, some people will say I need my phone for my job, etc. that’s not negative. But even I go to my phone to check for an important email and find myself replying to a text message or scrolling through Facebook.
Sometimes forgetting all about the reason I picked the phone up in the first place.
What I started to do is, I have a 30-second lock on my phone so when I set it down it locks within 30 seconds. And to unlock it I have to put in a password.
Now, I changed this password to the word ‘prayer.’
So every time I open my phone I am reminded to say the short prayer. “Jesus I surrender to your will.” When I started to do this, I was instantly connected to God more each day.
If you’re going through hurt, worry or doubt it can help you detach from it, even if it’s only for a brief moment.
When we get into a state of worry, doubt or anxiety we can lose ourselves for days, weeks, or even months as we are completely absorbed by what is going on in our lives.
It could be a serious situation, and I don’t want to make light of that, it could be something within your family or with a friend or in your community.
But if we lose ourselves in these events and let worry doubt or fear consume our spirits, our faith can weaken as we can question everything.
Certain events can even test our faith, pulling us down, separating us from God.
We can go through a period where we even give up on Him.
If you find yourself lost in this place, it’s important not to beat yourself up about it. We all have to deal with a certain situation in the best way we know how.
If you tend to use your phone a lot, screens can be locked; screen savers can be put in place, helping us to keep focused on the only thing that matters. Our creator.
You can change your passwords to meaningful positive, motivating words or phrases that help you throughout the day. Each day you are regularly programming your mind with faith.
Just for that split second when you pick up your phone, it can break a negative thought cycle that you may be going through, by connecting you to God. Adding peace to your day
And, when we are more connected, we are more relaxed, we are more centred, we are more at peace.
Whenever you read scripture, prayers or motivational literature, it calms you, and you realise that everything is going to work out.
When you are in the peaceful calm state which prayer brings, you can think level-headedly. You no longer feel from a place of worry, doubt, stress, depression or anxiety, but from a place of faith.
You are coming from a grounded, centred place, and when you come from that place you can see, no matter what is going on in your life, from a new perspective, a fresh perspective, a view you can mirror to the past.
And, in the past, everything worked out, so you know it will work out this time as well.
I wish your self, family and friends a beautiful weekend and may God bless you all, in a 1000 ways.
Thank you for reading
Rev J Martin
Is Free Will The Ultimate Power?
When God created us, He gave us free will, without free will, we would be robots. Predictable, boring, with no room to grow.
The major decision we have to make is to live in faith or live in fear.
Let’s just say Tommy has an interview, Tommy might initially feel overjoyed, rushing to share the news on social media.
But when the buzz has worn off, Tommy begins to doubt if he is good enough for the job, so he calls a friend, explaining how he feels. Jason encourages him, not by some magic trick but simply by telling him what he already knows deep down.
That he is awesome and will ace the interview.
Tommy puts down the phone in good spirits, pumped up for the interview. If only he could walk in right now. His energy alone would win him the job.
After a few hours, Tommy’s doubt returns.
Before long, he’s back where he started, and to make matters worse Tommy has an argument with his girlfriend, and they break up. Becky tells him how useless he is, telling him attending the interview would be a waste of time, for a loser.
Tommy decides not to attend the interview.
A friend on the morning of the interview calls Tommy to wish him good luck; he tells his friend what happened. Again, his friend builds him up not by some magic trick but by telling him what he knows deep down within.
That he’s better off without a girl that doesn’t believe in him. That the job will help him grow as a person; that he will be doing a job he loves.
Tommy gets in his car and goes straight to the interview. Fired up, he walks in with confidence, energy, and style. He instantly connects with the people taking the interview, so much so they are memorized. Tommy gets the job.
What has happened here?
Tommy’s free will took him on a rollercoaster that almost when off the rails. We all have the choice to doubt or to have faith in each moment.
Free will is like the pendulum on a grandfather clock; it’s what makes the clock tick. It is what creates the ups and downs of life.
The thing that we need to know is that we are not the pendulum, we are the battery that powers the clock, but unlike conventional batteries our power comes from God and His power never runs out.
So for the rest of this week, when you come up against hard times that has your mood all over the place. Remember that you are not the pendulum but the battery that is separate from it all.
Have an amazing faith filled week
Rev J Martin
God’s Grace Is On The Way, Free eBook
Growing up my grandmother used to say, “you have the grace of God with you.” For the longest time I did not know what this meant. As I have got older and wiser I realize that she meant I had a faith filled view of life. I always talked with optimism, and believed that all would work out.
Personally, I never looked at this as a gift, thinking everyone was the same, but dealing with people I quickly became aware that a faith filled view was a very rare quality.
An outlook of faith can change so much, you notice simple little things that connect you to nature. The feeling you get when you walk outside on a cold January day all wrapped up and are thankful for the coat that is on your back. You feel Gods power as you look out at the rising sun.
Just for that moment all stresses worries fade away because you feel His creative force flowing through you and in the world.
There is not a passing day goes by that I am not grateful for this connection to God, but I also believe this connection can be felt by everyone. There is great power to be gained from connecting with nature, and in the reading of faith filled words. Both of them make us realize that there is a power in this world much greater than ourselves.
To often we can let worry and doubt dominate our thought life; we become disconnected from God. The feeling comes over us that we must do everything on our own strength.
This is a lonely place to be, your faith can weaken, your defenses can break down leading to illness and pain.
Each day you must spend time focused on God, focused on faith, focused on gratitude. Take a walk into nature and you will feel Gods power and grace all around you. But you must be present
You invest hours at work, on the internet, watching your favorite dramas. So, its about time you started to invest time in you. If you are waiting for others to motivate or inspire you; you will be waiting a long time. People are to busy dealing with there own lives.
My new book, God’s Grace Is On The Way, is a reminder that there is good in your future. No matter how your life is now, brighter days lie ahead. It’s a faith builder that will help you connect with your inner desires and dreams.
I believe 2018 will be a great year for you, its time you believed that too.
Download the book today for free by clicking on the image below, all I ask for in return is an honest review. Promotion ends 29th of January.
Thank you.
The Crossroads of Should and Must?
There are two paths in life: Should and Must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And each time, we get to choose.
Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we’re supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn’t do. It’s the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us.
When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small.
Must is different—there aren’t options, and we don’t have a choice.
Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self; it’s God calling us to take action to fulfil our destiny.
Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own. Because when we choose Must, we are no longer looking for inspiration out there. Instead, we are listening to our true calling from within, deep within our soul.
Must is the reason that I am writing this post today, the rest of the days I was saying I should write a post. Simple words, but incredibly powerful how they can shape your life.
But if Must is so great, why do we not pick it every day?
Well, it turns out that choosing Must is scary, it’s hard, and can feel a lot like jumping off a high cliff when you can’t see what’s down below.
Must is taking that leap of faith. Must means action.
Grab a piece of paper and write the numbers one through ten on the left side of the page. At the top, title it “What I should do?” This is the things that you have been meaning to do, but for one reason or another have been putting off.
You’ve got ten minutes to write them down.
Go.
Welcome back.
These are the ten things that are holding you back from living the life that you were destined to live. Ultimately, it’s fear that is stopping you, but you may never admit it.
You may list many excuses; I’m not talented enough yet, I’m not confident enough, I haven’t got the money. I’m too fat, too thin.
Line by line, walk yourself through each one, have a conversation about all of your fears. These are the biggest obstacles standing in your way.
Fear will never go away unless you face it.
Sometimes our greatest fear is that we will achieve great things. There is a famous quote— below.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson. Author, Lecturer
You have something special inside of you, and it’s about time you gave your best shot; honor that calling in some small way — today.
Now go back to your list, and stroke out the word should at the top, and write in the word Must; WHAT I MUST DO. Choosing Must needs to be a daily practice, a recurring choice for you to see progress in your life.
If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between your dreams and your daily reality, take one small step towards it by doing something — today. It could be as simple as checking what options are available or making a call.
If you’ve been peering out over the edge of the cliff but can’t quite make the leap, dig a little deeper and find out what’s stopping you — today.
There is a recurring choice in life, and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again. And today, you get to choose.
Take the word ‘should’ out of your vocabulary; it is such a dangerous word for making a change in your life. I should eat healthy— maybe tomorrow. I should speak up for myself— will it really make a difference? I should look for a new job— I might be unhappy here but at least I can do my job with my eyes closed.
I’m sure you have some of your own, so how do you make the change?
From today change all the should’s to musts; if you find yourself saying should— change it to must.
I must eat healthier, so I have the energy to go for the adventures that I love.
I must speak up for myself, what I have to say matters and is the truth.
I must get a new job; I need a new experience; I want to grow in my personal and spiritual life.
When you make the decision that you MUST do something your mind kicks into action, listing the series of steps that need to be completed. Should is almost an excuse that we use to put things off.
Change a should to a must today; give birth to a chain of events that could change someone’s life.
Have a fantastic week, and remember God only wants the best for you, which means living a life without fear.
Rev J Martin
Is technology taking the upper hand?
The world is speeding up; no one wants to wait. I am showing my age, but I remember when it would take minutes for the Internet to load. Dial up. The younger generation could not last one day of my childhood, but then again I don’t think I could last a day in theirs.
Often I go for coffee and see a group of friends sitting looking at their phones, occasionally chatting to one another about what someone has posted on Facebook or Snap chat. Sitting at the same table but miles apart.
Is spending time with friends not about spending time with friends?
I am all for technology as a tool, but it is starting to take the upper hand.
Even the way we pay has changed. Now there is contactless, where you can pay by just hovering your card over the card reader. When the assistant asked me the other day, do you want to go contactless?
It dawned on me, that’s what the world is slowly becoming; contact less.
Communication is getting faster, but people are drifting apart. Where is God in all this? Sadly on the sidelines; only to be called on if something goes wrong.
With constant notifications popping up every few minutes, I know too well how hard it is to pull yourself away.
What can we do, well, like all change it starts with you.
It’s so important to take time each day to connect with nature; leave the phone on silent for a while. You will be surprised at what a difference it will make.
When the mind and body is relaxed, pain and tension subside. An idea can come out of nowhere to solve a problem that has been stressing you out for some time.
Even in the writing of this, I realize that I need to take my own advice. There is always something to do; even when I am resting my mind is always active.
It’s a mental break that is needed.
With constant stimulation from morning to night, you can push yourself for weeks and even months without noticing, you are slowly getting run down; to the point that pain or illness sets in.
God has a way of slowing us down; it is for our benefit in the long term— although, it may not seem that way at the time.
Unaware that it is self-inflicted, we go to the doctor, and he gives us some pills, resetting the balance for while.
Then a holiday comes in just the nick of time, but instead of being full of energy to go on adventures and visit friends near and far, we fall exhausted and spend most of the week in bed.
Take a mental break from the madness, start connecting face to face; turn off from the world, and see the difference it can make.
Enjoy your weekend and don’t forget father’s day.
Rev J Martin
Gain success love and happiness.
We are born into this world with two fears; fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear has been learnt.
The good news is anything learnt can be unlearnt. What I have found from my own experience is, behind a fear can lie an opportunity for growth.
Recently a young lady asked me for advice, she worked in an office, it was a well-paid job, but she was unhappy and needed a change but did not know what she could do. I have changed her name at her request.
Explaining this principle, that we can sometimes learn more from our fears than staying in our comfort zone. I asked Olivia to think of a fear she had overcome that made her a stronger person
She was very open to the idea if I believed that it would help.
After some thought, Olivia revealed to me that one of her first jobs was in a major high street clothes shop; a weekend job to help her through college. The job mainly involved getting the clothes ready for sale; tagged, priced, etc.
She picked the job because she didn’t feel confident being on the floor dealing with customers, and the thought of working on the tills was something she dreaded.
Then one Friday evening after she finished her shift, management informed her they were very short staffed for Saturday and needed her on tills. Saturday being one of the busiest days of the week, Olivia panicked.
‘Well, I went straight home and curled up in a ball.” She said, “Fear had gripped me; my mind was quickly filled with doubt.”
She went on to tell me that, thoughts like, what if I make a mistake, what if others laugh at me, what if I forget to remove the security tags, tormented her.
The more questions she asked, the bigger the problem became. Within hours Olivia told me she had stomach pains. She couldn’t eat and found it hard to sleep. Even though it was her worse fear, she knew that it was something she had to do.
That Saturday someone shadowed her for most of the day, which helped her greatly. Olivia explained, “I was slow, I was clumsy, I made mistakes, but it was expected of me.”
Olivia was then told she would be on the floor on a more regular basis. Over the next few weeks and months, her confidence grew; although she still did not like being on the floor alone.
By the time she left college, Olivia was one of the best till operators in the shop. She could greet the customer, talk to the customer, neatly fold everything into the bag, quicker than everyone else.
It got to the point where she was chosen to go on tills when they wanted the queue down quickly while still maintaining excellent customer service.
Then Olivia’s eyes lit up, I could see ideas were dancing in her head.
“I enjoy communicating and helping people face to face. You have been so helpful, thank you,” she said emotionally.
I reminded her that I had done nothing, she had only become aware of a talent that she possessed.
I share this story today to highlight a point. Behind your greatest fear could be your ultimate skill. Maybe like Olivia you have already discovered it but cast it to one side.
Whatever your fear, unless you confront it; you will never know what’s on the other side.
It could be success, love or happiness.
Beyond your fears is a world you may never know; part of you that you will never know exists, part of you which could offer so much to the world.
Overcoming fear builds confidence and faith; it expands your character allowing you to grow.
Now I’m not trying to fool you that it will be easy. No no no, it will be one of the hardest things that you have ever done in your life.
And, you will make mistakes.
But over time you will get better. The thing that you once feared will actually become enjoyable, so enjoyable that one day you will tell a story that will make you realize how far you have progressed.
How much you have achieved.
You will have the realization that conquering one fear opened the door to a new world, and your life grew at such an alarming rate that the initial fear almost seems ridiculous.
You will also know if you had shied away from it, you would be living such a different life.
My challenge for you today is to face one of your fears. This may seem like a daunting task, so I will make it easy for you.
Pick something small, something you keep putting off. It could be as simple as making a phone call or signing up for a class or course.
Whatever it is, make a decision to confront it today.
Action creates momentum.
Simple changes have a way of leading to significant results.
Have a fantastic week
Rev J Martin
Live Today With Faith 