Tag: health
5 Common Habits of Unhappy People
Most of our un-happiness comes from our own thinking, behaviour and habits. Today I would like to share 5 of the most destructive habits that can create un-happiness in your life.
After each habit I will go over some ways that can help you overcome some of the habits and live a better life.
Negative Friends
If you are surrounded with people that have little or no faith this will start to affect you in the long-term. Who we socialize with, what we read, watch and listen to, has a massive effect on how we feel and think.
It becomes a lot harder to be happier if you let yourself be influenced by negative voices. Voices that tell you that life will always be the way it is, that its better you learn to be happy where you are. Voices that watch life from a negative limited perspective.
How to overcome this habit:
Replace those negative voices with more positive ones. Surround yourself with new people to see the difference it can make. All your old friends will be exactly where you leave them if you ever want to return. This alone can be like a whole new world opening up.
Spend time with positive people, listen to inspiring music and read motivational books, watch movies and TV-shows that make you laugh and think about life in a new way.
What I found very helpful was starting out small. For example, listen to an inspiring audiobook on YouTube while eating breakfast in the morning, rather than listening to the news that is filled with negativity.
Getting Stuck in the Past and Future
Spending much of your time in the past, reliving old painful memories, conflicts, missed opportunities can hurt a lot. Spending your time in the future and imagining how things could go wrong at work, in your relationships and with your health can lead to a lot of un-happiness. Life is about living in the present.
How to overcome this habit:
It is pretty much impossible not to think about the past or the future. And it is of course important to plan for tomorrow and next year and to try to learn from your past, but to dwell on those things rarely helps.
What I found to be very helpful is to focus on what I can do today. I do out a timetable each day of all the things that I need to do. Constantly working towards my bigger longterm goals. If I do find myself thinking of the past or future too much I recite a short prayer to centre my thoughts.
Worry and doubt all stem from dwelling on the past or thinking about the future.
What I find very helpful is going for a walk in nature, or changing my surroundings by visiting a friend or relative. Being at home is the worst place to be if there is something troubling you.
Comparing Yourself To Others
One very common and destructive habit is to compare yourself to other people. People compare cars, houses, jobs, relationships, social popularity and so on. The list can be endless. All this does is create a lot of negative feelings.
How to overcome this habit:
Compare yourself to yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself.
See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. Doing this has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe what you have achieved, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.
When we judge ourselves we tend to judge others also. Luke 6:37 “do not judge, and you will not be judged.” Try to only focus on the positives in yourself and those around you. When we judge it’s usually because we have unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves.
By letting this all go and just accepting who you are faults and all, you will be instantly happier and have better relationships with others.
Focusing on the Negative Details in Life
Most people focus on the dark clouds rather than the silver lining. When you look at the negative aspects of a situation that is a sure way to make yourself unhappy. You can even drag down the mood for everyone around you.
How to overcome this habit:
Overcoming this habit can be difficult. Something that has worked for me is to look for the good in the situation, it can be hard to see but it is always there. If things didn’t work out for you, maybe its not the right time, or a better opportunity is around the corner.
What can easily happen if your not careful is you can be so buried in self-pity that you miss out on the reason that you had the setback. For example, you attend an interview and don’t get the job. You take the rejection personally, thinking you haven’t got what it takes and don’t even look for another job when the perfect one is waiting for you.
Overcomplicating Life
Life at times can be complicated but more often than not we can be the ones that make it so. This ultimately creates stress and unhappiness. The world is becoming more complex but that doesn’t stop us from making some new habits to make it easier.
How to overcome this habit:
Splitting your focus and having your attention all over the place is certain to lead to unhappiness. Concentrate on one thing at a time. Have a to-do-list of 4-5 important things that need completed throughout the day.
Work on the first until it is complete then move on to the next. This simple strategy saves time, and will triple your productivity. Plus, at the end of the day you will feel happy.
Another thing that can overcomplicate life is having too much stuff. A solution can be to ask yourself: have I used this in the past year? If not then give it away. This can create so much space within your home. A cluttered living space reflects a cluttered mind.
Relationships can be the most complicated thing in life. What has helped me greatly in this department is communication. Reading minds is impossible. Minimise unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings and negativity.
When stressed, worried or lost in a problem, breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body and mind.
Then you can start focusing on doing what is most important for you again.
Thanks for reading. Have a good week.
Rev J Martin
Is Free Will The Ultimate Power?
When God created us, He gave us free will, without free will, we would be robots. Predictable, boring, with no room to grow.
The major decision we have to make is to live in faith or live in fear.
Let’s just say Tommy has an interview, Tommy might initially feel overjoyed, rushing to share the news on social media.
But when the buzz has worn off, Tommy begins to doubt if he is good enough for the job, so he calls a friend, explaining how he feels. Jason encourages him, not by some magic trick but simply by telling him what he already knows deep down.
That he is awesome and will ace the interview.
Tommy puts down the phone in good spirits, pumped up for the interview. If only he could walk in right now. His energy alone would win him the job.
After a few hours, Tommy’s doubt returns.
Before long, he’s back where he started, and to make matters worse Tommy has an argument with his girlfriend, and they break up. Becky tells him how useless he is, telling him attending the interview would be a waste of time, for a loser.
Tommy decides not to attend the interview.
A friend on the morning of the interview calls Tommy to wish him good luck; he tells his friend what happened. Again, his friend builds him up not by some magic trick but by telling him what he knows deep down within.
That he’s better off without a girl that doesn’t believe in him. That the job will help him grow as a person; that he will be doing a job he loves.
Tommy gets in his car and goes straight to the interview. Fired up, he walks in with confidence, energy, and style. He instantly connects with the people taking the interview, so much so they are memorized. Tommy gets the job.
What has happened here?
Tommy’s free will took him on a rollercoaster that almost when off the rails. We all have the choice to doubt or to have faith in each moment.
Free will is like the pendulum on a grandfather clock; it’s what makes the clock tick. It is what creates the ups and downs of life.
The thing that we need to know is that we are not the pendulum, we are the battery that powers the clock, but unlike conventional batteries our power comes from God and His power never runs out.
So for the rest of this week, when you come up against hard times that has your mood all over the place. Remember that you are not the pendulum but the battery that is separate from it all.
Have an amazing faith filled week
Rev J Martin
The Key to Successful Living
I was caught in a rush the other day and had to heat some food up in the microwave. Something that I try to keep to a minimum as I was always told it was not that healthy, but it was just one of those moments when I needed it.
The thought reminded me of when I was younger.
Remember when you had someone that would tell you, don’t eat that, don’t wear that, or I wouldn’t travel there. When we are younger, we had family members, friends or other people in our lives trying to give us wisdom.
We rarely listened, and even when we did, we convinced ourselves that it was our idea.
At that moment I thought; we all need that voice in our lives. Someone to tell us to make the call, or to remind us that when we say sorry all will be ok, or someone to say, ‘if you are out of breath walking up some stairs, maybe it’s time you walked to the corner shop rather than take the car.’
But the voice is not there.
Achieving what we want in life is not easy, and there is no one to keep you on track, you are sadly on your own. Something that I recommend that has worked wonders for me is reading from the Bible every day. It centres and calms the mind so that you can think clearly.
The key action that turned my life around was the day that I discovered the Great Book and started to let its wisdom wash over me. I became more understanding, loving and compassionate and shared that wisdom with family and friends.
It changed the direction of my life.
When we are going around in our mundane lives, yes it can be boring, but it is safe, it’s easy. But this is not the life destined for us; we were created to do great things.
What I found is, there are two reasons we underachieve in life, one, the fear of failure, ‘what if I don’t succeed, what if I invest my time and it doesn’t work. And secondly, the fear of success, ‘what if I do succeed, what if it leads to bigger things.”
When you read from the Bible God will speak to you, the words will translate into the message you need to hear. Fearful thoughts fade away. You will gain an unshakable faith in your abilities, and in time you will find the direction you must take.
You will soon discover that success is an ongoing process, not a destination as we are led to believe, there will be setbacks along the way, you will stumble and fall, but you must carry on.
As humans we want the easy way out, we don’t want to put in the work. Everyone wants to be successful and live the high life, but they want it handed to them. This is not how the world works.
Finding our own truth is something that we must all do, and for me, this can only be achieved reading the word of God. Through scripture, God will speak to you, and you will know what you must do.
I wish you all the best on your journey. May you find what’s true to you.
Enjoy your week.
Rev J Martin
The Crossroads of Should and Must?
There are two paths in life: Should and Must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And each time, we get to choose.
Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we’re supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn’t do. It’s the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us.
When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small.
Must is different—there aren’t options, and we don’t have a choice.
Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self; it’s God calling us to take action to fulfil our destiny.
Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own. Because when we choose Must, we are no longer looking for inspiration out there. Instead, we are listening to our true calling from within, deep within our soul.
Must is the reason that I am writing this post today, the rest of the days I was saying I should write a post. Simple words, but incredibly powerful how they can shape your life.
But if Must is so great, why do we not pick it every day?
Well, it turns out that choosing Must is scary, it’s hard, and can feel a lot like jumping off a high cliff when you can’t see what’s down below.
Must is taking that leap of faith. Must means action.
Grab a piece of paper and write the numbers one through ten on the left side of the page. At the top, title it “What I should do?” This is the things that you have been meaning to do, but for one reason or another have been putting off.
You’ve got ten minutes to write them down.
Go.
Welcome back.
These are the ten things that are holding you back from living the life that you were destined to live. Ultimately, it’s fear that is stopping you, but you may never admit it.
You may list many excuses; I’m not talented enough yet, I’m not confident enough, I haven’t got the money. I’m too fat, too thin.
Line by line, walk yourself through each one, have a conversation about all of your fears. These are the biggest obstacles standing in your way.
Fear will never go away unless you face it.
Sometimes our greatest fear is that we will achieve great things. There is a famous quote— below.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson. Author, Lecturer
You have something special inside of you, and it’s about time you gave your best shot; honor that calling in some small way — today.
Now go back to your list, and stroke out the word should at the top, and write in the word Must; WHAT I MUST DO. Choosing Must needs to be a daily practice, a recurring choice for you to see progress in your life.
If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between your dreams and your daily reality, take one small step towards it by doing something — today. It could be as simple as checking what options are available or making a call.
If you’ve been peering out over the edge of the cliff but can’t quite make the leap, dig a little deeper and find out what’s stopping you — today.
There is a recurring choice in life, and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again. And today, you get to choose.
Take the word ‘should’ out of your vocabulary; it is such a dangerous word for making a change in your life. I should eat healthy— maybe tomorrow. I should speak up for myself— will it really make a difference? I should look for a new job— I might be unhappy here but at least I can do my job with my eyes closed.
I’m sure you have some of your own, so how do you make the change?
From today change all the should’s to musts; if you find yourself saying should— change it to must.
I must eat healthier, so I have the energy to go for the adventures that I love.
I must speak up for myself, what I have to say matters and is the truth.
I must get a new job; I need a new experience; I want to grow in my personal and spiritual life.
When you make the decision that you MUST do something your mind kicks into action, listing the series of steps that need to be completed. Should is almost an excuse that we use to put things off.
Change a should to a must today; give birth to a chain of events that could change someone’s life.
Have a fantastic week, and remember God only wants the best for you, which means living a life without fear.
Rev J Martin
Is technology taking the upper hand?
The world is speeding up; no one wants to wait. I am showing my age, but I remember when it would take minutes for the Internet to load. Dial up. The younger generation could not last one day of my childhood, but then again I don’t think I could last a day in theirs.
Often I go for coffee and see a group of friends sitting looking at their phones, occasionally chatting to one another about what someone has posted on Facebook or Snap chat. Sitting at the same table but miles apart.
Is spending time with friends not about spending time with friends?
I am all for technology as a tool, but it is starting to take the upper hand.
Even the way we pay has changed. Now there is contactless, where you can pay by just hovering your card over the card reader. When the assistant asked me the other day, do you want to go contactless?
It dawned on me, that’s what the world is slowly becoming; contact less.
Communication is getting faster, but people are drifting apart. Where is God in all this? Sadly on the sidelines; only to be called on if something goes wrong.
With constant notifications popping up every few minutes, I know too well how hard it is to pull yourself away.
What can we do, well, like all change it starts with you.
It’s so important to take time each day to connect with nature; leave the phone on silent for a while. You will be surprised at what a difference it will make.
When the mind and body is relaxed, pain and tension subside. An idea can come out of nowhere to solve a problem that has been stressing you out for some time.
Even in the writing of this, I realize that I need to take my own advice. There is always something to do; even when I am resting my mind is always active.
It’s a mental break that is needed.
With constant stimulation from morning to night, you can push yourself for weeks and even months without noticing, you are slowly getting run down; to the point that pain or illness sets in.
God has a way of slowing us down; it is for our benefit in the long term— although, it may not seem that way at the time.
Unaware that it is self-inflicted, we go to the doctor, and he gives us some pills, resetting the balance for while.
Then a holiday comes in just the nick of time, but instead of being full of energy to go on adventures and visit friends near and far, we fall exhausted and spend most of the week in bed.
Take a mental break from the madness, start connecting face to face; turn off from the world, and see the difference it can make.
Enjoy your weekend and don’t forget father’s day.
Rev J Martin
Gain success love and happiness.
We are born into this world with two fears; fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear has been learnt.
The good news is anything learnt can be unlearnt. What I have found from my own experience is, behind a fear can lie an opportunity for growth.
Recently a young lady asked me for advice, she worked in an office, it was a well-paid job, but she was unhappy and needed a change but did not know what she could do. I have changed her name at her request.
Explaining this principle, that we can sometimes learn more from our fears than staying in our comfort zone. I asked Olivia to think of a fear she had overcome that made her a stronger person
She was very open to the idea if I believed that it would help.
After some thought, Olivia revealed to me that one of her first jobs was in a major high street clothes shop; a weekend job to help her through college. The job mainly involved getting the clothes ready for sale; tagged, priced, etc.
She picked the job because she didn’t feel confident being on the floor dealing with customers, and the thought of working on the tills was something she dreaded.
Then one Friday evening after she finished her shift, management informed her they were very short staffed for Saturday and needed her on tills. Saturday being one of the busiest days of the week, Olivia panicked.
‘Well, I went straight home and curled up in a ball.” She said, “Fear had gripped me; my mind was quickly filled with doubt.”
She went on to tell me that, thoughts like, what if I make a mistake, what if others laugh at me, what if I forget to remove the security tags, tormented her.
The more questions she asked, the bigger the problem became. Within hours Olivia told me she had stomach pains. She couldn’t eat and found it hard to sleep. Even though it was her worse fear, she knew that it was something she had to do.
That Saturday someone shadowed her for most of the day, which helped her greatly. Olivia explained, “I was slow, I was clumsy, I made mistakes, but it was expected of me.”
Olivia was then told she would be on the floor on a more regular basis. Over the next few weeks and months, her confidence grew; although she still did not like being on the floor alone.
By the time she left college, Olivia was one of the best till operators in the shop. She could greet the customer, talk to the customer, neatly fold everything into the bag, quicker than everyone else.
It got to the point where she was chosen to go on tills when they wanted the queue down quickly while still maintaining excellent customer service.
Then Olivia’s eyes lit up, I could see ideas were dancing in her head.
“I enjoy communicating and helping people face to face. You have been so helpful, thank you,” she said emotionally.
I reminded her that I had done nothing, she had only become aware of a talent that she possessed.
I share this story today to highlight a point. Behind your greatest fear could be your ultimate skill. Maybe like Olivia you have already discovered it but cast it to one side.
Whatever your fear, unless you confront it; you will never know what’s on the other side.
It could be success, love or happiness.
Beyond your fears is a world you may never know; part of you that you will never know exists, part of you which could offer so much to the world.
Overcoming fear builds confidence and faith; it expands your character allowing you to grow.
Now I’m not trying to fool you that it will be easy. No no no, it will be one of the hardest things that you have ever done in your life.
And, you will make mistakes.
But over time you will get better. The thing that you once feared will actually become enjoyable, so enjoyable that one day you will tell a story that will make you realize how far you have progressed.
How much you have achieved.
You will have the realization that conquering one fear opened the door to a new world, and your life grew at such an alarming rate that the initial fear almost seems ridiculous.
You will also know if you had shied away from it, you would be living such a different life.
My challenge for you today is to face one of your fears. This may seem like a daunting task, so I will make it easy for you.
Pick something small, something you keep putting off. It could be as simple as making a phone call or signing up for a class or course.
Whatever it is, make a decision to confront it today.
Action creates momentum.
Simple changes have a way of leading to significant results.
Have a fantastic week
Rev J Martin
The Power Of Faith Can Move Mountains
Faith is to believe what we want is possible. It is generated by what we hear, by what we see and most of all by what we think and say each day.
If your mind is obsessed with thoughts of insecurity or fear, this is because such thoughts have dominated your thinking over an extended period of time.
These negative thought patterns can make a simple problem seem as big and unmovable as a mountain.
The scripture says, “according to your faith be it unto you.” in other words the bigger your problem becomes, the bigger your faith needs to be.
Faith is not reality, it can not be seen, but it has an incredible effect on your life, your attitude and your emotions. It can even affect the body’s healing process.
There is truly a magical power found in faith; an unseen magic.
Language, like faith, is also an unseen magic. Words can not be seen when they are transmitted from the speaker to the one that is listening, but they can have a profound effect.
Jesus said in the Gospel of Matthew, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain; ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.
Faith needs to be combined with discipline to see results. You need to learn to hold faith thoughts in your mind; you must read, study, and speak words of faith daily.
Wisdom and faith when mixed with action create reality. The reality of a career, the reality of health, the reality of happiness, and peace of mind.
Faith is something that needs constant attention or thoughts of doubt will set in.
If you get up each morning and declare that it will be a fantastic day, and approach the world with that view; it will be a fantastic day. Start the day with words of faith; sow seeds of faith into your life.
Most people do the exact opposite; they wake up in the morning and turn on the news; starting their day with war, death and sorrow.
Starting the day with fear effects your spirit. You will become stressed quicker as your defences will be low.
It has been said that thoughts are things; they actually process dynamic power. Well, I have seen over and over again how people think themselves into and out of situations. I have seen people make themselves ill with their thoughts and by the same token, I have witnessed people make themselves healthy again when they change their core beliefs.
One of the best cures of self-doubt is the thought that Almighty God is with you and helping you. That He will stand by you and see you through the hard times.
To practice this belief simply affirm; God is with me, God is helping me, God is guiding me.
Spend time each day visualising his presence believing this affirmation. Go through each day with the knowing that what you have affirmed and visualised is true.
The release of power into your life that this practice stimulates will amaze you. The mountains in your life will soon be removed.
When you learn to nurture yourself with faith, you will begin to see your life change in unusual ways.
My new book, The Power Of Faith Can Move Mountains is free now on Amazon. Link Below. Download and enjoy.
Thanks for reading.
Rev J Martin
Live Today With Faith 