Let’s face it; we all want to be happy. If you didn’t want to be happy you wouldn’t be reading this.
If you want to be happy you don’t need to add more things to your life — you need to give some up.
Here is a list of things that you need to give up to create more happiness in your life.
Give Up on Your Fears
We are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds. All other fears we learn from our environment.
Some of us have a fear of snakes. Some of us have a fear of heights, others flying. We all have some kind of fear, but the fears that hold us back the most are the fears that stop is from doing what we want.
You want to change jobs, but fear of the uncertainty that brings keeps you where you are.
You want to attend the evening class, but the fear of what others will think stops you.
Unfortunately, fear and happiness can’t exist at the same time. So, fear becomes a problem.
The best way to give up your fears is to take small steps towards what you fear. If you fear to change jobs, it doesn’t stop you from doing out an up-to-date CV/Resume. It doesn’t stop you from looking for an available position or even applying. It doesn’t even stop you from attending the interview, as you can always decline if you get accepted.
Most people let fear stop them from even taking the first step, which could be as simple as making a phone call or sending an email.
When you take the first step to do the thing you fear you will start to believe that you can take the next step, and the next. Your faith grows, and you will be happier that you are moving towards the life you most desire.
Give Up on Your Negative Self-talk
I am my own worst critic. I have a constant conversation going on in my head telling me, “I will never be successful.” When I forget things, it tells me that, “I am such an idiot.”
Negative self-talk leads to poor self-confidence, low self-esteem, and a bad attitude.
Some of the most common forms of negative self-talk include:
• Filtering — when you increase the negative and decrease the positive things in your life.
• Personalising — when you blame yourself for things that go wrong.
• Polarizing — when you only see things as black and white.
• Catastrophizing — when you expect the worst in every situation.
If you want to be happy, you need to get rid of your negative self-talk. Pay attention to your negative self-talk and when you hear it….Stop!
Change your thinking and turn your negative thought into a positive. Change, “I will never be successful” to “I will find a way to make this work.”
“I can’t” to “I will learn.”
“It’s impossible” to “I will give it a try.”
You can change the way you talk about yourself. It will not happen overnight, it will take time, but you can do it. Like scratching a DVD over and over, eventually, the negative thoughts will no longer play.
Learn to be kind, gentle, and encouraging to yourself. Start by not saying anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. Example, If a friend had a chance for a promotion you wouldn’t tell them not to apply because they’ll probably not get it.
Give Up on Your Past
“Just because someone screwed up your past, it doesn’t mean you should give them permission to screw up your future.” — Zig Ziglar
We all have a past. It can be filled with good experiences, or it can be filled with negative experiences. If you don’t want your future to look like your past, you have to let go of the baggage that is holding you back.
You have to let go of the people who have held you back, or hurt you. Forgive them, and move on. Once you do that, a huge weight will lift off your shoulders; you will immediately feel lighter.
You will finally be able to let yourself be happy.
I know how hard it can be to let go of the past. Your past shaped who you are today. But remember, the people that hurt you would like nothing better than to know that their actions are still affecting you.
Let them go; they are not worth wasting your time and energy on any more.
Decide either to let the baggage of your past weigh you down or to let it go, so that you can be happy now.
Don’t forget that life is a journey, and not a destination. So, don’t carry the baggage of your past with you. Lighten your load and be a happier traveller.
When you look back, you will be glad that you did.
Give Up on Living Other People’s Dreams
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain
Too many people spend their lives living other people’s dreams. They are living the dreams of their parents, or the dreams of their friends, or the dreams of their social media following. Doing what others are doing.
They are so busy trying to live up to other people’s dreams, that they dismiss their dreams. Thinking they are insignificant.
If you don’t focus on your ambitions and dreams, then you will not be happy. You will never know what you want or need because you will be looking for direction from others.
You only have one life, and you must live it on your terms. Quit living other people’s dreams and find what makes you happy.
Give Up on Seeking the Approval of Others
We all want to be liked, but too many of us are living our lives based on the approval of others. We spend our lives trying to please others by living up to their expectations.
For most of my life I would try to impress others, but the older I got, the more I learnt. You will never please everyone, and even if you do it will not make you happy.
So, permit yourself to stop trying to please others. It doesn’t work.
Instead, focus on what makes you happy.
The second that you decide to be yourself, and to stop trying to please others, you will find that the right people will be drawn to you.
Give Up Comparing Yourself to Others
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
There will always be someone smarter, better looking, and more successful than you. Always. You can never win.
So, quit comparing yourself to others. It will not make you happy. Instead, focus on your strengths, the things that make you a remarkable individual.
The day you stop comparing yourself to others is the day that you will become much happier.
Give Up Negative People
You cannot expect to live a positive life if you spend time with negative people.They are the people that complain all the time, and run others down.
Negative people will manipulate you to get what they want. And if they don’t get it, they will get angry or upset at you.
You know who they are. Why are you spending time with them? Why are you allowing them to steal your happiness?
If you spend your time with negative and unhappy people, you will become negative and unhappy. If you spend your time with positive and happy people, you have a higher probability of becoming positive and happy. It’s not hard, but we like to make it so.
Happy people know that who they surround themselves with can mean the difference between a happy life and a miserable one.
Stop wasting your time with negative and unhappy people. Get rid of them. It may be difficult in the beginning, but you will be happy that you did.
We all get what we tolerate. So, stop tolerating excuses within yourself, stop tolerating limiting beliefs, or fearful states.
Happiness is a choice.
You are in control of your happiness. Every day you get to choose to be happy or not.
Quit making excuses. Quit blaming others. Quit blaming your circumstances. It’s time to take responsibility for your happiness.
You all have gifts and abilities, its time to share them with the world to make it a better place for all.
Enjoy your week.