The Crossroads of Should and Must?

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There are two paths in life: Should and Must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And each time, we get to choose.

Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we’re supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn’t do. It’s the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us.

When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small.

Must is different—there aren’t options, and we don’t have a choice.

Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self; it’s God calling us to take action to fulfil our destiny.

Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own. Because when we choose Must, we are no longer looking for inspiration out there. Instead, we are listening to our true calling from within, deep within our soul.

Must is the reason that I am writing this post today, the rest of the days I was saying I should write a post. Simple words, but incredibly powerful how they can shape your life.

But if Must is so great, why do we not pick it every day?

Well, it turns out that choosing Must is scary, it’s hard, and can feel a lot like jumping off a high cliff when you can’t see what’s down below.

Must is taking that leap of faith. Must means action.

Grab a piece of paper and write the numbers one through ten on the left side of the page. At the top, title it “What I should do?” This is the things that you have been meaning to do, but for one reason or another have been putting off.

You’ve got ten minutes to write them down.

Go.

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Welcome back.

These are the ten things that are holding you back from living the life that you were destined to live. Ultimately, it’s fear that is stopping you, but you may never admit it.

You may list many excuses; I’m not talented enough yet, I’m not confident enough, I haven’t got the money. I’m too fat, too thin.

Line by line, walk yourself through each one, have a conversation about all of your fears. These are the biggest obstacles standing in your way.

Fear will never go away unless you face it.

Sometimes our greatest fear is that we will achieve great things. There is a famous quote— below.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson. Author, Lecturer

 

You have something special inside of you, and it’s about time you gave your best shot; honor that calling in some small way — today.

Now go back to your list, and stroke out the word should at the top, and write in the word Must; WHAT I MUST DO. Choosing Must needs to be a daily practice, a recurring choice for you to see progress in your life.

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If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between your dreams and your daily reality, take one small step towards it by doing something — today. It could be as simple as checking what options are available or making a call.

If you’ve been peering out over the edge of the cliff but can’t quite make the leap, dig a little deeper and find out what’s stopping you — today.

There is a recurring choice in life, and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again. And today, you get to choose.

Take the word ‘should’ out of your vocabulary; it is such a dangerous word for making a change in your life. I should eat healthy— maybe tomorrow. I should speak up for myself— will it really make a difference? I should look for a new job— I might be unhappy here but at least I can do my job with my eyes closed.

I’m sure you have some of your own, so how do you make the change?

From today change all the should’s to musts; if you find yourself saying should— change it to must.

I must eat healthier, so I have the energy to go for the adventures that I love.

I must speak up for myself, what I have to say matters and is the truth.

I must get a new job; I need a new experience; I want to grow in my personal and spiritual life.

When you make the decision that you MUST do something your mind kicks into action, listing the series of steps that need to be completed. Should is almost an excuse that we use to put things off.

Change a should to a must today; give birth to a chain of events that could change someone’s life.

Have a fantastic week, and remember God only wants the best for you, which means living a life without fear.

 

Rev J Martin

Is being Happy & Stress-free worth feeling uncomfortable for a short time.

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Do you find yourself, avoiding new situations because they make you uncomfortable?

It’s normal to feel uncertain before you face a new challenge, but stepping outside our comfort zone is the only time we grow.

Why would you want to do something uncomfortable?

We go out of our way to get away from stress and doing anything that makes us feel uncomfortable, but there is a difference between the discomfort of trying something new and stressful feelings.

At one time you were afraid to drive. Now you enjoy it. You may not have liked eating vegetables when you were younger, but now you couldn’t live without them. You were once afraid of applying for that first big job, but now that you have a career you enjoy, you wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. We all do things that at one time we were afraid to do.

Good things in life come to those who take risks, those who step outside their comfort zones in the knowing that with God anything is possible.

Matthew 9:29
Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you.”

Faith is stepping out into the unknown with the knowing that all will be ok. Successful people in all walks of life, take risks. They feel fear, but they do not let it push them back. Their faith in succeeding drive’s them forward

If you avoid new experiences, you are missing out on the best that life has to offer. The longer that you wait, procrastinate, or cower in fear, the more “comfortable” you get with how things are, and that’s not a very good place to be.

Before we go any further, ask yourself if you are happy?

Are you happy in your current state or do you ever dream of doing something else, something more?

Do you think about reaching out to other people, starting a new hobby, eating healthier, or even going for a new job?

If the answer is yes, then you have already decided this is something you want to do. Now it’s just a matter of making up your mind to overcome your fears.

Once people get settled into a routine, it can be difficult to break. Most people are running on a sort of “autopilot,” it takes them from point A to point B with little to no thought, but this is not what God created you for.

When we are young – we are fearless. Young children will pull an iron off the iron-board on top of themselves because they want to know where the lead is coming from.

We are told repeatedly growing up, don’t do this, don’t do that, so we stop exploring life. It gets to a point where we are afraid to try anything new; we get into a routine; we enter the comfort zone.

It takes no thought to stay in a comfort zone, for this reason, many people take up permanent residency.

Getting out of a comfort zone starts with deciding to take action.

Decide that it’s time to do something new. Decide to do something you have been afraid to do in the past. Take up a new hobby. Visit a new place — Decide to break the routine.

“But I’m Scared!”

You are not alone, many people are afraid to take that first step and take action. The idea of making a significant change may even lead to feelings of deep anxiety and self-doubt.

The first step to overcoming the fear of the unknown is to learn to take baby steps. If you fear to look for a new job. Start with writing out a C.V. /Resume. If you would love to lose weight but can’t find the time to go to a gym. Park 10 minutes from work – over a week that is nearly two hours of walking.

Some Helpful Advice

Two things that will help you get started are a list of goals (including those that make you uncomfortable or scare you) and a reliable buddy system.

Write the list of targets that you want to accomplish first. Things that you have always wanted to do but have been afraid to attempt.

Next, enlist the aid of a friend to help you accomplish those goals. Naturally, it’s easy to give up when you are the only one trying. A friend can provide that emotional support you need.

To conquer your fears once and for all and start living the life you dream of; take decisive action. Make up your mind that you can do anything, that you will be successful in whatever you decide to do.

What’s the worst that can happen?

Typically it won’t be as bad as you think. Doing things that make you feel uncomfortable or scared, eventually get easier to do. You may even wonder why you were so afraid in the first place.

Realise your true potential by stretching yourself. God created you to achieve great things. Don’t let fear hold you back.

Enjoy your week.
Rev J Martin

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