Vicious Cycle Of Social Fear

lonely

Growing up I found it hard to fit in with others, I never knew the right thing to say, so I didn’t say anything.

I don’t remember what was going on in my mind. I think there was this part of me that just wanted to be me. Not do anything and accept myself being shy.

Then there was the other side of me that wanted to be like all the other children, talking and playing with others.

I wanted to interact but didn’t because I was in the vicious cycle of social fear: I am shy —> I want to play with them —> If I play with them, I’m afraid of what they will say about me —> I don’t want to be rejected —> I will not join them because…—> I am shy.

It took many years of going outside my comfort zone to become the person I am today, and it didn’t happen without a constant battle between the shy me and the real me.

Decide to Step out of the Cycle

The only way you can overcome your fears is to make a conscious decision to step out of the cycle. It is not easy to do this if you have grown into the habit of fear.

Fear will tell you that your not good enough, your not smart enough, who are you to do something different?

When these thoughts arise you must turn them around saying the opposite, I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I believe in my abilities.

When you first start speaking words of faith it might seem like is not making that much difference but as the saying goes, repetition is the mother of skill. When you repeat this over and over, in time your image of yourself will change.

Start Small

I never thought I was smart enough, so I started reading. I was drawn to spiritual and motivational books.

Within weeks I had so much more to talk about with people who helped my confidence and self-worth. It’s not that my personality changed, but I was happier and more relaxed.

I began to discover who I was. A miracle of creation. I found that most of what I feared was in my mind. I found out that I was my own worst enemy.

Would you tell a young child that they are useless, lack intelligence and have no talent? No. Of course not. Why then do we do it to ourselves?

The way you view yourself is very important and can determine your destiny.

Like me, you may not think you’re intelligent enough or know what to say. You may be overweight and don’t think that will ever change. Or maybe your in a job you don’t enjoy but can’t see a way out.

Whatever form fear takes to hold you back, decide today that you’re going to take a small step of faith.

That small step could be as simple as doing out a CV/Resume, or walking 30minutes at lunch or reading a book on a subject that interests you.

A Step of Faith Is Taking Small Step in the Right Direction

Facing fear scares people as they think they have to overcome it all at once, but it doesn’t work that way.

Overcoming fear is about taking small steps of faith. Each step is taking you closer and closer to a life without fear.

Take a small step towards your destiny today, and tomorrow, and the next day. And watch the big change it will make.

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Wisdom From a Billionaire

steve jobs

You have probably heard of a man called Steve Jobs. He was the co-founder of the computer business Apple.

Steve Jobs was also a writer and today I read the last essay that he wrote as he lay dying. It contained a lot of wisdom.

“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world, ” he said. “In some peoples eyes, my life is the epitome of success but at this moment lying on my bed recording my life I realise that all the recognition, and wealth, that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.”

You can employ someone to drive your car for you, to make money for you but you can not have someone bear your sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost — Life.

Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

Treasure love for your family love for your spouse, love for your friends.

Treat yourself well. Cherish others.”

Despite the best and the most expensive medical care, a lung transplant, the skill of the worlds best doctors Steve Jobs died in the days after he wrote his last essay.

When I put it down, I felt humbled. Inspired. Energised. I had been complaining about a few minor ills when what I should have been doing was celebrating the greatest gift of all,

LIFE.

True happiness does not come from material things. When you have mates and old friends, brothers or sisters who you can chat and talk with, that is true happiness.

The six best doctors in the world are, sunlight, rest, exercise, diet, self-confidence, and friends. Make these things the foundation of your life and everything else will fall into place.

Spend time doing what you love, and with the people that add value to your life

Have a good week. Thanks for reading.

 

 

The Key to Successful Living

secret-of-success1

I was caught in a rush the other day and had to heat some food up in the microwave. Something that I try to keep to a minimum as I was always told it was not that healthy, but it was just one of those moments when I needed it.

The thought reminded me of when I was younger.

Remember when you had someone that would tell you, don’t eat that, don’t wear that, or I wouldn’t travel there. When we are younger, we had family members, friends or other people in our lives trying to give us wisdom.

We rarely listened, and even when we did, we convinced ourselves that it was our idea.

At that moment I thought; we all need that voice in our lives. Someone to tell us to make the call, or to remind us that when we say sorry all will be ok, or someone to say, ‘if you are out of breath walking up some stairs, maybe it’s time you walked to the corner shop rather than take the car.’

But the voice is not there.

Achieving what we want in life is not easy, and there is no one to keep you on track, you are sadly on your own. Something that I recommend that has worked wonders for me is reading from the Bible every day. It centres and calms the mind so that you can think clearly.

The key action that turned my life around was the day that I discovered the Great Book and started to let its wisdom wash over me. I became more understanding, loving and compassionate and shared that wisdom with family and friends.

It changed the direction of my life.

When we are going around in our mundane lives, yes it can be boring, but it is safe, it’s easy. But this is not the life destined for us; we were created to do great things.

What I found is, there are two reasons we underachieve in life, one, the fear of failure, ‘what if I don’t succeed, what if I invest my time and it doesn’t work. And secondly, the fear of success, ‘what if I do succeed, what if it leads to bigger things.”

When you read from the Bible God will speak to you, the words will translate into the message you need to hear. Fearful thoughts fade away. You will gain an unshakable faith in your abilities, and in time you will find the direction you must take.

You will soon discover that success is an ongoing process, not a destination as we are led to believe, there will be setbacks along the way, you will stumble and fall, but you must carry on.

As humans we want the easy way out, we don’t want to put in the work. Everyone wants to be successful and live the high life, but they want it handed to them. This is not how the world works.

Finding our own truth is something that we must all do, and for me, this can only be achieved reading the word of God. Through scripture, God will speak to you, and you will know what you must do.

I wish you all the best on your journey. May you find what’s true to you.

Enjoy your week.
Rev J Martin