Growing up I found it hard to fit in with others, I never knew the right thing to say, so I didn’t say anything.
I don’t remember what was going on in my mind. I think there was this part of me that just wanted to be me. Not do anything and accept myself being shy.
Then there was the other side of me that wanted to be like all the other children, talking and playing with others.
I wanted to interact but didn’t because I was in the vicious cycle of social fear: I am shy —> I want to play with them —> If I play with them, I’m afraid of what they will say about me —> I don’t want to be rejected —> I will not join them because…—> I am shy.
It took many years of going outside my comfort zone to become the person I am today, and it didn’t happen without a constant battle between the shy me and the real me.
Decide to Step out of the Cycle
The only way you can overcome your fears is to make a conscious decision to step out of the cycle. It is not easy to do this if you have grown into the habit of fear.
Fear will tell you that your not good enough, your not smart enough, who are you to do something different?
When these thoughts arise you must turn them around saying the opposite, I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I believe in my abilities.
When you first start speaking words of faith it might seem like is not making that much difference but as the saying goes, repetition is the mother of skill. When you repeat this over and over, in time your image of yourself will change.
I never thought I was smart enough, so I started reading. I was drawn to spiritual and motivational books.
Within weeks I had so much more to talk about with people who helped my confidence and self-worth. It’s not that my personality changed, but I was happier and more relaxed.
I began to discover who I was. A miracle of creation. I found that most of what I feared was in my mind. I found out that I was my own worst enemy.
Would you tell a young child that they are useless, lack intelligence and have no talent? No. Of course not. Why then do we do it to ourselves?
The way you view yourself is very important and can determine your destiny.
Like me, you may not think you’re intelligent enough or know what to say. You may be overweight and don’t think that will ever change. Or maybe your in a job you don’t enjoy but can’t see a way out.
Whatever form fear takes to hold you back, decide today that you’re going to take a small step of faith.
That small step could be as simple as doing out a CV/Resume, or walking 30minutes at lunch or reading a book on a subject that interests you.
A Step of Faith Is Taking Small Step in the Right Direction
Facing fear scares people as they think they have to overcome it all at once, but it doesn’t work that way.
Overcoming fear is about taking small steps of faith. Each step is taking you closer and closer to a life without fear.
Take a small step towards your destiny today, and tomorrow, and the next day. And watch the big change it will make.
Many problems that we face come from our relationship with others; often started over trivial matters.
Someone speaks to us in a particular tone. Rather than thinking they may be under stress we can take it personally, shutting them out of our lives, telling others of how much they hurt us by what they said or done.
Unrest of any kind can lead to unhappiness and pain. Life can be complicated; we can feel misunderstood, taken for granted, or hurt.
The problem arises when we let these feelings consume our spirit. We can become critical and judgemental of others, and ourselves. We can become defensive, distant, unwilling to connect with people the way we once did.
Don’t allow bitterness, stubbornness or un-forgiveness extinguish the light of God that’s within your heart.
Feelings of negativity can separate us from His love.
Many people are unhappy because they have allowed negativity to cloud their vision. Living this way can be stressful, frustrating and can damage your relationships, your health and your faith.
When you focus on negativity, it’s almost impossible to see the positives in your life.
If someone hurt you, and you hurt him or her back, it may seem like payback, but it only adds more negativity to the world.
What you give out you will get back in return.
Many people focus on their needs instead of focusing on what they can do for others. The result is they are never fulfilled.
Throughout my life, my outlook has been one of happiness with a deep love for everyone. For the longest time, I took this attitude for granted. Recently, however, I decided to encapsulate the reasons behind my philosophy.
The result is my new book, How to Feel Love and Be Happy.
I would like to share with you the ways to live a life of harmony and happiness, which will give you a great feeling of love in your life.
You can download my book free today on Amazon, click on the image below.
Due to a very eventful four to six weeks I have not been doing my usual updates. I had some family problems that needed my care and attention. All is much better now, its so easy to get caught up in negativity. Time to move on.
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
We all know deep down the areas that we must change, maybe you are quick to anger, resulting in broken friendships and relationships, or maybe you lack faith and sit back thinking things will remain the same.
Whatever it maybe 2018 is the time for new growth.
Change doesn’t have to be something that flips your life upside down. Small changes work best. For example you want to lose weight, which seems to be an example we can all relate to…lol
Most people give up after a few days. Why?
Because they do to much to soon. Start small. Walk around the garden or walk the children to school. Walk to the corner shop or to a neighbors instead of using the car. These small changes may not seem like much at first but over a couple of weeks you will notice the difference.
Or maybe you want to have more faith. Instead of thinking you must spend hours in prayer. Start by saying a few prayers, while waiting in traffic, on the train, or in line at the department store. It may seem small but moments of prayer create peace, and the more you feel peace the calmer you become.
So in stressful situation where in the past you would worry or doubt you will find that you have a peace within to help you calm that storm.
I would like to wish you, your family and friends, health, success and happiness in 2018 and beyond. Remember that small things lead to big results.
Have an amazing weekend.
Rev J Martin