Regret is simply a stream of thoughts that like to replay in your mind, to make you think that your life could have been so much different if you had of made different decisions.
The truth, everything happened exactly as it was meant to happen. That fact can be hard to take sometimes; I know because I have recently made some mistakes that I regret every day, The same thoughts replay in my mind, so I know first hand what regret feels like.
But today, a thought came to me that I would like to share.
You can not stop the negative thoughts from coming, so don’t even try instead when they come up in your mind. Say the following,
I can not change the past; I can only learn from it.
Repeat as often as necessary.
Thoughts of regret can steal your joy and happiness; they can make your mood change, meaning you are not present for the people in your life.
Please don’t give thoughts of regret power over you.
During the lockdown, I got into some bad habits and put on a fair bit of weight, that I’m finding it hard to lose.
Just don’t have the same motivation to get out of the house in the mornings for my usual run. Three times a week has dropped to one every ten days, managed to go yesterday, as it was beautiful weather.
On my run, I had a thought, pretty deep stuff, as my brother would say but will do my best to keep it simple.
Ego Meets Self
Well, on my run, there is a very steep hill about a mile in, that although challenging I can make it. As I was approaching the hill, I saw a farmer in his land who gave me a particular look. As if to say, you’re not going to run up that hill? (Well that’s what the ego part of me heard, more on that later.)
As I started up the hill, in my mind, he was watching me. With that added pressure, the hill wasn’t as easy as usual. The sun in the sky suddenly felt warmer.
A car came from behind me, which meant I had to run on the loose gravel on the verge of the road, which made the climb even harder. Although difficult, I did not stop.
At the top of the hill, it flattened out, and slowly but surely I got up to speed, again.
Then the thought hit me, for that run up the hill I had been separated from my spiritual self. I was thinking about proving to the farmer that I could make it up the hill, that it wasn’t impossible to run.
I also became aware of the fact that he may not have been thinking about me at all. How often do we allow what we think others will think of us to determine what we say or do?
I can only speak for myself, but I do it a lot.
I believe that there are two parts of us:
The spirit is the part of us that is without fear and curious about life. Most people lose connection to this part of themselves by about 8-9.
The reason for this is, at about that time, we form a second part to ourselves, the ego. I’m sure you have heard that expression.
That’s the part of us that suddenly cares what others think. So we make sure we dress the same as everyone else, have the same trainers, school bag, and clothes. We do whatever is necessary, so we don’t stand out.
Just the presence of the farmer had disconnected me from enjoying my run, meaning; I got lost in over-thinking and over analysing my performance, which in turn made the run much harder.
It was interesting to witness how the ego had changed my feelings and emotions.
Like it or not feelings and emotions are what rule our life. We tend always to be moving towards what is pleasurable and away from what is painful. Doing whatever it takes to avoid being judged or criticised.
The ego part of us wants to be continuously praised and complimented. Continually analysing and overthinking everything.
As I wrote in the headline, “I had introduced my higher self to my ego.” And the higher self said to me. “Do you want fearful part of you in your life anymore?”
Do we need that part of us that is always judging ourselves and others, that is in constant fear of being judged or criticised. I don’t think we do. I think it limits us in so many ways.
Many of us never fulfil our true potential because we always have one eye on the people in our lives, the people that are so afraid to step outside their comfort zone that they will make fun of anyone else that does.
Strenght in you reflects the weaknesses within them.
Growing up, the ego is needed to help build our identity and keep us safe from harm. Its the person we become so other people will like us, admire us, and accept us. But at some point, we have to live our life on our terms. Making decisions for ourselves not solely to impress others and make them accept us.
So many people let the fear of being judged or criticised stop them from fulfilling their destiny.
Please don’t be afraid to walk your own path and follow your dreams.
In my last post, I talked about your gift and talent in life being something that you can do effortlessly, something that comes naturally to you.
Well, each of us, I believe, has genius-level talent. God given abilities that we just have to tap into.
The main aim of this post is to help you find where your genius is, then it’s up to you to put all your energy into that area, and if you do you will excel, you will be as successful as you want to be.
The main obstacle that you will face in life is being yourself. Surely just being yourself should be easy?
Somewhere along the way, we convince ourselves that we are not good enough, at almost everything. So we try extremely hard to be something that we are not, meaning, we never reach our full potential.
Starting off in life, we have all these dreams and passions, but very often we settle for second best or don’t embrace our natural gifts and abilities at all.
Your friend wants to be an accountant, so you follow them into accountancy, you qualify and earn amazing money. The problem is your a bright, outgoing person and sitting at a desk alone all day doesn’t interest you. So you’re unhappy.
Many people are in similar situations to this example. Living unhappy, with feelings of regret. Feelings that life has passed them by. That they have made too many mistakes.
Not the case. But it will take discipline and courage to make the necessary changes.
First, you have to ask yourself a few questions which I will go over now.
The Genius Zone
Most people are not sure what they are good at or what skills they have. And all the uncertainty is enough to put them off before they even start.
its difficult to believe that we are highly skilled in some area.
I will now share with you some questions to help you find what I like to call your genius Zone, so you have a firm foundation to build upon.
What holds your attention? What subjects do you like reading about? What do you like to talk about? What do you like to study?
What are you interested in? What topics have you been interested in your whole life? What subjects do you like to search for new information about?
What absorbs your attention completely? What can you get completely absorbed in? When you are reading about it, watching documentaries on etc. When you’re talking on this subject hours will pass like minutes.
The answer to these questions is a good indication to your genius zone. The subjects that you’re most passionate about, you will have the most knowledge. Whatever this area is, you must focus on it because this is the area that you will be most creative.
When you discover your genius zone, you will notice that you do not need to learn much in that area. You may need more training to take your knowledge to the next level or maybe a change of job to acquire new experience.
But one or two years developing some skills is nothing compared to a lifetime of unhappiness— if you’re currently on the wrong path in life.
When you’re working in a job that you can share your knowledge and passion about a topic, product, or service, you will be happier, have more energy and have more love for yourself and others.
If this all sounds good, but you don’t know where to start then leave a comment or send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will do my best to advise you.
It’s got to the point that I have stopped watching TV all together. Yes, maybe that sticking my head in the sand but the world has lost its mind completely. Never has it been more important to look after your mental health.
Today I would like to share another one of my habits that has helped me to be happy and care free 99% of my life.
In my last post I talked about road work, its importance and benefits. But it came to my attention, I can often write without thinking. So, if you have never done any road work, running walking jogging, then I would recommend starting small.
Maybe 20 minutes, 10 minutes away from starting point, then turn and come back. Building up to 1-hour total over time.
If you start your day this way, it will get you off to a great start and vastly improve the rest of your day since it will drain off a lot of tension and anxiety. In general, it will clear out your mind so you can think better all day long!
Plus, after you get into it, it will make you feel great!
So anyway, here are some other good health habits that I think you should get into right away.
FASTING – after road work fasting is the single most powerful thing that you can do for your mental and physical health.
Now there are many different types of fasting. All are beneficial. Some people will say to do 24h fasts, others will say intermittent fasting is best. What I have learnt is, do what feels comfortable.
Like road work start small and build up.
All spiritual walks of life have fasting as a part of their practise. Why is this? Fasting brings you into the presence of God. Rather than worrying about problems or bills. Or what your friend or neighbour said or didn’t say, you become focused on the present moment.
The reason for this, in my opinion is, your body will send out strong signals that it wants food, soon it becomes the only thought you can think about. Of course your mind may drift but it will come back to the feelings of hunger.
Benefits of Fasting
When you fast, you begin to normalize the body’s functions and also, you develop a certain self-discipline that will help you in most other areas of your life.
The first few days you try fasting it will be difficult but if you stick with it that body adjusts. For me it is excellent for mental clarity, and refocuses my attention to the gift that food is.
I intend to write a lot more about fasting in later posts but, for right now, I want to encourage you to begin immediately too fast one day every week.
Here are some tips.
Firstly, start on a day off. It’s easy to think that a day you have a lot on will make it easier but this is not the case. As the body uses a lot of energy, and energy comes from food.
(Personally, I started with a 16h fast. So after 8pm on Friday I didn’t eat again until 12pm the next day. Water and black coffee are allowed.)
Secondly, I suggest you do not tell other people what you are doing. Most people don’t understand fasting, and all you will get from them on this subject is a lot of ignorant nonsense. People have been fasting for centuries with great benefits.
Thirdly, I feel that you should do very little (or no) athletic exercise on the days that you fast. You see, your “Fast Day” is the day you set aside to give your mind and body a rest. You don’t have to stay in bed all day or anything like that, but you really should take it easy both physically and mentally.
Extra Time And Increased Productivity
What I do on my fast days is read and take time to pray. Also, I have found it an excellent time to take care of those nagging little chores and errands that seem to accumulate during the rest of the week.
In other words, I think you should do road work every morning to more or less “order your day” and fast every week to “order your week”.
I’m into my fifth decade on earth and the two things I have written about so far in this series are by far the most important things I have ever learned.
Mental Health & Well Being
Most people know the power that the mind has over the body. When your stressed or anxious for example you can hardly eat or have very little energy or enthusiasm.
Then on the flip of that, when you are happy or excited you have unlimited energy and could go over 24 hrs without sleep.
What few people know however is the body has just as much control over the mind. So when you are anxious or worried about a problem, going for a long walk can clear your thoughts and help you think more logically.
Road work and fasting have so much more to offer than getting in shape and losing weight. Both are helpful with mental health issues.
So if you have problems with depression or anxiety I recommend that for the next 7 days you add both road work and some fasting to your weekly routine and notice the difference that it makes.
Many people want to be happier and more successful but fail to realize their health is the foundation. Focus on improving your energy and mental clarity and you will not believe how fast your life will change.
Until next week take care and remember even small steps in the right direction will get you to your destination.
Enjoy your week.
Disclaimer – I’m not a health professional, always get advice from your doctor before going on a fast or making a significant change to your diet.
Anyone that has experienced worry or anxiety may never think of setting it as a goal to be free from it, but this is what in my opinion you must do.
I once heard a quote from Jim Rohn, a famous motivational speaker, which had a deep impact on me. “Don’t set a goal to be successful just to be successful, set a goal to be successful for the person that it will make off you to achieve it.”
So don’t set a goal to be free from worry and anxiety, just to be free from worry and anxiety. Set a goal to be free from worry and anxiety for the growth in character that you will experience. So that you first hand understand the shift that takes place.
You can’t just wish anxiety away; you must actively work towards achieving that goal. All fear has a source, and if you run from it or deny it, then you will never overcome it.
Wall of Fear
Fear is the main obstacle in life, and it comes in many forms. Fear is what pushes most people back, keeping them locked in a place they cannot escape. But, if you don’t push yourself through what you fear, you will never fulfil your true potential.
One of my favourite quotes is by Marianne Williamson, who once said,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”
Deep down within us, we know what we are capable of. We have unique talents and abilities, but rather than share them with the world; we hide behind our fears.
Fears grow because we feed them. For example, Let say you are afraid of social situations; you feel intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected.
That may cause you to avoid social situations, but this will only cause fear or anxiety to get worse. Remember, ‘you are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.’
A few years ago, I suffered intense anxiety which shook me to my core. Until that point, I thought anxiety was something that could be overcome easily, but I was mistaken.
There were moments I thought I might never recover, but I never gave a voice to them fearful thoughts. I spoke words of faith. Saying things like, ‘I will do whatever it takes to overcome this anxiety.’ There is power in the spoken word.
Rather than let fear win, I set a goal to do whatever it took to overcome the anxiety. That decision brought me on a journey of discovery.
In the end, it took a combination of methods to overcome. It took discipline to apply the techniques instead of just panicking. But it was worth it. My search led me to ETF tapping, a technique that helped me greatly.
Within two weeks, the anxiety had subsided noticeably, giving me the feeling that I was in control. Within a couple of months, the intense fear was gone.
The experience changed me; it made me more grateful for everything. I became more humble and less stressed. All the little things that annoyed me in the past seemed insignificant.
I learnt so much. I learnt the power of a walk in nature, the birds singing and the sound of a stream.
I wouldn’t wish what I went through on my worst enemy but it made me a better person, it increased my faith, my compassion, and it made me more patient with others.
Facing your fears is not easy; I will tell you straight. Sometimes prayer alone will not work; you will need to put action behind your faith. You will need to consistently and persistently do what is necessary.
The good news is… when you face your fears, the real reward is the person that you will become. A more influential, healthier, wiser person that is more connected to the world around you. Someone more compassionate, empathic and loving towards others. Someone that is a step closer to God.
Decide to face a fear today and witness the difference that it will make.
Philippians 4: 6-7 NIV
Do not be anxious about anything , but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presents your requests to GOD, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Life can get difficult sometimes, and it is hard to put a finger on why? You do the best you can, but nothing seems to work out.
You regret some decisions you have made. You feel guilty about past mistakes, and doubt sets in about your future. These thoughts can change to feelings that your life is out of your control. As negativity fills your mind, you can become stressed, and depressed; which eventually can lead to ill health.
If you could step back for just a moment, you would quickly realise, by placing your attention on your problems, you have stopped God’s healing energy from flowing into your life.
No matter how strong your faith negativity can take its toll, draining your spirit, making you doubt yourself. Your character can change and before long you’re not the person you once were.
Even the best of us can lose our way from time to time.
Faith is like a muscle, it needs to be worked regularly or it loses its power. Simply taking the time to connect to spirit can work wonders. A few words are all it takes to relight the flame of faith.
For the next few days my book, Making Space for God is available for free download. It has the power to realign you and help you see stressful or worrisome situations from a different angle. Click on the image below.
Wishing you health and happiness. Enjoy your weekend.
Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening. It had rained, and there were puddles of water on the roadsides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk across because of a puddle of water.
The elder of the two monks went up to her, lifted her and left her on the other side of the road, and continued his way to the monastery.
In the evening, the younger monk came to the elder monk and said, “Sir, as monks, we cannot touch a woman ?”
The elder monk answered, “yes, brother”.
Then the younger monk asks again, “but then Sir, how is that you lifted that woman on the roadside ?”
The elder monk smiled at him and told him” I left her on the other side of the road, but you are still carrying her.”
Like the monk, we can easily fall into the trap of carrying our worries around with us. Draining our energy and making us tired. Over the weeks and months, our fears can eventually affect our physical and emotional health leading to a whole host of problems.
It may seem like things will never get better, like things will remain the same as they have always been, but I would like you to know today it doesn’t have to be that way.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. It may seem like you will never overcome your relentless worry or crippling anxiety, but I would like you to know today that you can. But you can’t sit inactive.
It is pleasant to daydream, wouldn’t it be amazing to be without worry or anxiety, but to make your daydreams come true, you have to start walking in their direction. You have to take action.
You have to take the first step, and then the second, the third, and all the steps that separate you from your goal. This is valid for every improvement you would like to make, small or big, relating to your job, health, finance, self-improvement or spirituality.
Take a step today and download my book, How to Stop Worrying, on Amazon. Currently on free promotion. Click on the image below.
Gain the knowledge to strengthen your faith and cast your worries to one side.