Sometimes when there is alot of drama in your life, its good to get away even for a few hours and sit alone in nature, by a stream, or walk throught a forrest and gather your thoughts.
Moments of silence can bring insights, and also bring calm to your world.
Self-doubt can hold you back. It can keep you from seizing opportunities. It can make getting started harder than it needs to be.
I’ve struggled with self-doubt for many years. I doubted my ability; I thought I was never good enough. And my choices reflected that.
I let self-doubt stop me from pursuing the things I wanted. It held me back from being who I wanted to be. Who I am today.
Self-doubt and negative self-talk became such a habit; I was comfortable with it. They kept me from improving and stuck me in an endless loop of negativity.
Self-doubt and fear go hand in hand. We can become so afraid of trying new things. We fear change because we’re afraid of the unknown, and we are so scared to try something new, in case it doesn’t work out, or turns out to be worse than what we have now.
We can come up with the worst-case scenarios in our heads instead of focusing on positive outcomes. We worry about what could go wrong instead of focusing on what could go right.
Fear and self-doubt can stop us from trying anything new, keeping us in our current situation. We adapt to our circumstances even if those circumstances aren’t benefiting us because it’s comfortable.
To overcome the self-doubt, fear, and lack of confidence, you need to intervene in your own life and take control. And these are 11 ways that you can do so from today.
1. Say stop
When your inner doubts bubble up, be quick. Don’t let them spin out of control or grow from a thought to a stream of discouraging sentences. Instead, talk back to that doubtful part of yourself.
In your mind, voice a positive thought. If the thought says, ” the interview will not go well.” Immediately answer with, “Getting the interview means that I have what it takes.” Stop that negative thought in its tracks. Speak your truth.
By doing so, you disrupt the thought pattern and stop negative thinking from taking over.
2. Reflect on memories
Be honest with yourself and ask: How many times have I doubted myself or feared something would happen, for it not to materialize?
The answer for me – on many occasion.
Self-doubts like to keep you within the comfort zone.
If you look to the past and see how many times things worked out despite your self-doubts, then it becomes easier to let go of them and to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.
3. Talk to someone about it
When you keep your negative thoughts to yourself, they can become exaggerated. So let them out into the light. Talk to someone close to you about your self-doubts.
They will confirm what you already know deep down, that you are more than capable; you’re just letting fear control your thinking.
By talking with someone supportive you will get a change in perspective.
4. Don’t get stuck in the comparison trap
If you compare yourself to other people, self-doubt can creep up on you.
A better way to go about things is to compare yourself to yourself. Look at how far you have come, and what you’ve overcome.
It to easy to look at everything that you want to achieve; rarely do people look back and look at what they have already achieved. Reflection gives us the added motivation that we need to keep going.
5. Start keeping a journal
Keeping a journal can be a helpful habit for many reasons when it comes to self-doubts, it can help you to remember the positive things, all the successes you’ve made. How you have overcome obstacles in the past can give you great insights if you’re crippled with fear.
When you write down your problem, you will be surprised at how little is holding you back. Plus, writing things down can give you a fresh perspective on the issue, making it easier to find solutions.
6. Don’t worry about other peoples opinions
When you worry about what others may think or say if you do something, then self-doubt can lead to in-action and fear.
The truth is, people don’t care that much about what you do; they are too busy thinking about themselves, their worries, their bills, and their insecurities.
This is one of the most important lessons I have learnt in my life.
7. Get a boost of optimism
Let someone else’s enthusiasm, motivation and constructive optimism flow into your life.
Spend 10-20 minutes with an audiobook, a podcast or a book that increases your faith. Now with platforms like YouTube wisdom and encouragement is only a click away. Instead of turning on the TV, tune into some inspiration or motivation for 10-20 minutes a day.
A daily boost of positivity can help you to shift any self-doubts into optimism.
8. See a setback as temporary
When you have a setback, then you may start to see things through a negative lens. You might even let the set-back fill your mind with doubts.
Negative thinking can stop you from taking action, so instead, remember: You are not a failure just because you failed. Failure is a vital part of success.
Sometimes things go well and sometimes they don’t. So don’t let a failure determine your destiny.
Ask yourself: what is one thing I can learn from this setback? Use the mistake to your advantage and take a better approach.
9. Don’t beat yourself up about it
A common way to handle self-doubt is to get angry at yourself. Being hard on yourself for a weakness or mistake is not a good approach.
I have found that being kind and constructive is a better choice. So I may ask myself a question like; what is one tiny step I can take to move forward in this situation?
Then I take that tiny step and start to step by step move towards where I want to go.
10. Celebrate that small step and win
When you’ve taken one small step forward – for example, do your first CV/Resume in years– then you have a win. It may be a small one, but it’s still a win. So celebrate it.
This will recharge your motivation and make taking action feel more exciting and fun. And that will push self-doubts aside so you keep moving and getting more small wins.
11. The map is not the territory
In the carrying out of plans, many things can change, so it is essential that you don’t allow self-doubt to creep in.
Your plan might be A-B-C-D, but the journey of life may take you from A-D-B-C. As long as you are aware of this fact it removes self-doubt when your life takes a slightly different turn than you expected.
For example; your plan might be to work within an organisation that campaigns for human rights, but your life journey presents you with a job where your working along side the very people that make the laws; where your influence could make a massive change.
But if you dismiss that job because it doesn’t line up with your set plan then you may never get that opportunity.
Overcoming self-doubt is a process that we must work on each day. I hope the above tips have inspired you in some way.
Thanks for reading.
You cant help anyone if you can’t first help yourself. Peace of mind is a priceless commodity.
To heal a wound you need to stop touching it.
Franklin D. Roosevelt the 32nd president of the United States once said: “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”
Behind every great work there has been hour and hours of practise. There is no such thing as an over night success.
Do you ever feel like you haven’t got enough time? Like you’re rushing from one thing to the next.
Do you want to know the reason why you’re always late for things?
Well, you’re not alone, most humans are terrible at planning and poor judges of how long things will take.
If you get a text that says, “be there in two minutes,” that usually means 10. If they say, “running 15 minutes late,” that means 30.
Now obviously this is your friend trying to soften the blow, and potentially saving face, but why were they running late in the first place?
Well, a high proportion of people don’t plan for the unplannable.
As a person that was always late, I now know why I was. In my head, it only takes 5 minutes to get my coat, wallet and keys. But in reality, it takes me 15; my keys are not where I thought I left them, or anywhere for that matter.
I start to stress, and stress leads me not to think clearly. Then I remember that I left my keys in my other jacket.
I jump into the car and traffic seems to pop out of nowhere, I pull in and text a friend and let them know I’m going to be late. The reply, “it’s ok; you always are.”
The takeaway from all this, plan for the unexpected. If you have to be at an appointment at 11 am, and it usually takes you 15 minutes to get there. Don’t leave at 10:45 am.
Plan to leave at 10:15. Then if you have misplaced your keys, wallet, or another item that is essential to your trip you have plenty of time to look for it.
Unexpected things will come up, and it’s better to be ready for them. Allowing that 30 minutes extra is often essential if you want to be there on time.
That is what my experience has taught me.
You think it will be like X, but in reality, it’s like Y. There will be things that you didn’t plan for. And that’s precisely why you need to prepare for them events. Most people don’t.
That’s why you should not take on every engagement, project or task that you think you can do. Problems will arise and giving yourself space for them problems limits stress and rushing.
Will they always happen, of course not but it’s better to be ready than for one little problem to snowball into you being late for the remainder of the day, or in some cases much longer.
Buffer time is something that has helped me a lot in my personal and work life. The time that I add to remove stress and frustration from my day. (The mind works so much more efficiently when it is calm and relaxed.)
For one, travel always takes longer than you think, so getting to the airport an hour early, and to our business engagement 15 minutes early removes a lot of stress.
The risk of missing your flight, making your friends wait, or losing a reservation isn’t worth a few minutes it takes to plan. The worst-case scenario is that you wait a few minutes when you get there.
And if a friend, work colleague, or Google maps tells you it’s going to take 20 minutes to get there, and you leave 20 minutes for your journey, you’re probably going to be late.
You’re going to hit a few red lights, some traffic, and then have to park your car and walk to the restaurant, and there is always that person or persons, at the airport, that pack all their liquids into their carry on case.
The point is there is always going to be things that you can’t plan for, that will come up.
Also, when you say YES too often, it limits the amount of time that you have for yourself.
I’m all for helping people but if you help everyone someone is going to lose, and that person will be you.
The reason, you’re not going to have any buffer time. You’re going to be so busy wrapped up and helping others you’ll put your needs to last, leading to being stressed and frustrated that you never seem to have time for yourself.
That’s why you need to plan.
Plan everything that you would like to do; the things that are essential for your health and well-being. Then with a time that’s left allocate as your free time, as the time that you can give freely.
The idea here is— it’s not just about being late; it’s about the things that you say yes to. It’s about better planning. So if meeting a friend for lunch means that you are going to be rushing to an appointment or meeting. Then avoid it.
Let your friend know why you can’t meet them, why you have to put it off until another time. A good friend will see your point of view and agree with your decision.
Most of us are in debt when it comes to time.
But when you are selective about allocating your time, when you think twice before saying yes. You will start to feel much less rushed, you will begin to feel more relaxed, and you will have much more time for the essential things that make you happy.
Have a good week.
Pray more worry less.
Sounds simple, but often its the simple things that are the most effective. When we pray, our focus is on faith, expectancy, and hope, the complete opposite of worry.