11 Powerful Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

Self-doubt can hold you back. It can keep you from seizing opportunities. It can make getting started harder than it needs to be.

I’ve struggled with self-doubt for many years. I doubted my ability; I thought I was never good enough. And my choices reflected that.

I let self-doubt stop me from pursuing the things I wanted. It held me back from being who I wanted to be. Who I am today.

Self-doubt and negative self-talk became such a habit; I was comfortable with it. They kept me from improving and stuck me in an endless loop of negativity.

Self-doubt and fear go hand in hand. We can become so afraid of trying new things. We fear change because we’re afraid of the unknown, and we are so scared to try something new, in case it doesn’t work out, or turns out to be worse than what we have now.

We can come up with the worst-case scenarios in our heads instead of focusing on positive outcomes. We worry about what could go wrong instead of focusing on what could go right.

Fear and self-doubt can stop us from trying anything new, keeping us in our current situation. We adapt to our circumstances even if those circumstances aren’t benefiting us because it’s comfortable.

To overcome the self-doubt, fear, and lack of confidence, you need to intervene in your own life and take control. And these are 11 ways that you can do so from today.

Cartoon-stop

1. Say stop

When your inner doubts bubble up, be quick. Don’t let them spin out of control or grow from a thought to a stream of discouraging sentences. Instead, talk back to that doubtful part of yourself.

In your mind, voice a positive thought. If the thought says, ” the interview will not go well.” Immediately answer with, “Getting the interview means that I have what it takes.” Stop that negative thought in its tracks. Speak your truth.

By doing so, you disrupt the thought pattern and stop negative thinking from taking over.

reflect

2. Reflect on memories

Be honest with yourself and ask: How many times have I doubted myself or feared something would happen, for it not to materialize?

The answer for me – on many occasion.

Self-doubts like to keep you within the comfort zone.

If you look to the past and see how many times things worked out despite your self-doubts, then it becomes easier to let go of them and to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.

3. Talk to someone about it

When you keep your negative thoughts to yourself, they can become exaggerated. So let them out into the light. Talk to someone close to you about your self-doubts.

They will confirm what you already know deep down, that you are more than capable; you’re just letting fear control your thinking.

By talking with someone supportive you will get a change in perspective.

4. Don’t get stuck in the comparison trap

If you compare yourself to other people, self-doubt can creep up on you.

A better way to go about things is to compare yourself to yourself. Look at how far you have come, and what you’ve overcome.

It to easy to look at everything that you want to achieve; rarely do people look back and look at what they have already achieved. Reflection gives us the added motivation that we need to keep going.

5. Start keeping a journal

Keeping a journal can be a helpful habit for many reasons when it comes to self-doubts, it can help you to remember the positive things, all the successes you’ve made. How you have overcome obstacles in the past can give you great insights if you’re crippled with fear.

When you write down your problem, you will be surprised at how little is holding you back. Plus, writing things down can give you a fresh perspective on the issue, making it easier to find solutions.

other people

6. Don’t worry about other peoples opinions

When you worry about what others may think or say if you do something, then self-doubt can lead to in-action and fear.

The truth is, people don’t care that much about what you do; they are too busy thinking about themselves, their worries, their bills, and their insecurities.

This is one of the most important lessons I have learnt in my life.

7. Get a boost of optimism

Let someone else’s enthusiasm, motivation and constructive optimism flow into your life.

Spend 10-20 minutes with an audiobook, a podcast or a book that increases your faith. Now with platforms like YouTube wisdom and encouragement is only a click away. Instead of turning on the TV, tune into some inspiration or motivation for 10-20 minutes a day.

A daily boost of positivity can help you to shift any self-doubts into optimism.

8. See a setback as temporary

When you have a setback, then you may start to see things through a negative lens. You might even let the set-back fill your mind with doubts.

Negative thinking can stop you from taking action, so instead, remember: You are not a failure just because you failed. Failure is a vital part of success.

Sometimes things go well and sometimes they don’t. So don’t let a failure determine your destiny.

Ask yourself: what is one thing I can learn from this setback? Use the mistake to your advantage and take a better approach.

beat yourself up.gif

9. Don’t beat yourself up about it

A common way to handle self-doubt is to get angry at yourself. Being hard on yourself for a weakness or mistake is not a good approach.

I have found that being kind and constructive is a better choice. So I may ask myself a question like; what is one tiny step I can take to move forward in this situation?

Then I take that tiny step and start to step by step move towards where I want to go.

10. Celebrate that small step and win

When you’ve taken one small step forward – for example, do your first CV/Resume in years– then you have a win. It may be a small one, but it’s still a win. So celebrate it.

This will recharge your motivation and make taking action feel more exciting and fun. And that will push self-doubts aside so you keep moving and getting more small wins.

11. The map is not the territory

In the carrying out of plans, many things can change, so it is essential that you don’t allow self-doubt to creep in.

Your plan might be A-B-C-D, but the journey of life may take you from A-D-B-C. As long as you are aware of this fact it removes self-doubt when your life takes a slightly different turn than you expected.

For example; your plan might be to work within an organisation that campaigns for human rights, but your life journey presents you with a job where your working along side the very people that make the laws; where your influence could make a massive change.

But if you dismiss that job because it doesn’t line up with your set plan then you may never get that opportunity.

Overcoming self-doubt is a process that we must work on each day. I hope the above tips have inspired you in some way.

Thanks for reading.

Advertisements

7 Beliefs You Must Have To Live A GREAT LIFE

prueba

Most people drift through life with no sense of purpose, no direction or true joy.

They pay no attention to the fact they are not happy, and never address the mindset and choices that led to that unhappiness, but if they did they might be able to reverse it.

Most people have limiting beliefs, and so their life is limited. They believe life is hard. They believe life is a challenge, full of sadness and misery.

They believe at some level, consciously or subconsciously. The best days are behind them. They believe fitting in, and wearing masks will get them a better or more comfortable life, then being the true self and following their true passions.

Their happiness is dependent on what happens; they are not in control of life; life is in control of them.

If you can switch your beliefs about life to the following seven empowering beliefs, life will start to work for you. The blessings will appear.

The joy that is inside you will start rising out. Here are seven beliefs you must have to live a great life.

Number One: I Decide How I feel No Matter the Circumstances

Number Two: I Have So Much to Be Thankful For

Number Three: Being Myself Attracts the Right People

Number Four: I am Capable of Anything

Number Five: Kindness Always Wins

Number Six: Everything is a Blessing or a Lesson

Number Seven: My Best Is Yet to Come

 

Let me go over each one to help you understand them a little more.

Number One— I Decide How I Feel No Matter the Circumstances.

Have you ever noticed how unhappy people seem to get upset over just about anything? Did you also notice that they seem to have a lot to be unhappy about?

The truth is they let every little circumstance make them unhappy.

Someone cuts them off in traffic… ruins their day. Someone says something unkind, and they replay in their mind for weeks. When you adopt the belief that you are in control of how you feel ,and you commit to doing daily work on yourself, two things happen.

First is that you become empowered. You know nothing has the power to make you unhappy. Only your thoughts can do that. You decide what every event means, and you can choose to see the blessing in everything.

The second is you start to attract better circumstances. When you are putting out better energy, better is attracted to you, and you notice more of the magic all around you.

Know that you decide how you feel and commit to do that daily work on yourself, so you can start and live every day in a beautiful state.

thank you

Number Two— I have So Much to Be Thankful For

This is pretty easy for anyone to understand, happy people are happy because they are because they appreciate more than unhappy people. It has been said many times; you can be happy with little or miserable with much.

Knowing this, you understand the goal is never to accumulate wealth or material things; it is to get to the place where are you feel like you have everything.

Because that is all it is, a feeling. Feel blessed, and you’ll be blessed. Feel blessed, and you are blessed.

Number Three— Being Myself Attracts the Right People

One of the greatest tragedies of human beings is that the majority change who they are to fit into the world. They believe but it being like someone else, will make them fit in better with others, be liked by others. But the truth is, you’re never attracting the right people by being someone you are not.,

Be yourself, and the right people for you will show up. The right people will love the real you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Have the courage to be you. Always.

Believe and know if you do so, the perfect people and circumstances will show up in your life!

believe in yourself

Number Four— I Am Capable of Anything

Successful people, know with absolute certainty anything they believe can be their reality. Imagine what you could create in your life with the belief I am capable of anything.

Well, you are, so believe it, know it and apply it to something you want. That dream you have. Plan for it. Work for it and get it!

That change you’ve been putting off: Believe you can do it and go for it!

Number Five— Kindness Always Wins

Some people believe kindness is a weakness. They believe kind people get walked over. They’ll point to an example from years ago, where they gave their heart and soul and that one person trampled all over it, so they adopt the belief that this is what happens every time they are kind.

If someone tripped you over once while you were walking you wouldn’t let that person stop you from walking, would you?

It’s not the walking that made you trip over it was the unkind person. In life, yes, some people will do you wrong, but that doesn’t mean you throw everyone into the same basket.

You are kind because that’s who you are not because you want something out of it, like a transaction.

Who do you think kind people are attracted to? Other kind people or those who refuse to be kind because they were hurt by someone else long ago?

Who do you think amazing people love to be around: those who are kind and genuine or those who are closed off?

Treat others how you want to be treated. Not because you want something from them, but because you know the world is a little better every time someone like you does good, no matter how small.

Number Six— Everything is a Blessing or a lesson

We’ve all been through hard times, every one of us. Some people who have been through minor hard times believe that their life is far less because of the event.

Are those that have been through hell, believe at some level, it was sent as either a lesson or a blessing.

Think of the survivors of diseases or abuse, they go through the worst kinds of pain, but because of the pain, the rise out of it with a new passion for life, they arise out of it with a sense of purpose wanting to help others who are going through the same pain.

You can learn from your past. You can use it. Believe it was sent to make you stronger, better, and more compassionate. Believe there was a reason for it.

Best-is-Yet-to-Come

Number Seven. My best Is Yet To Come

What would you attempt? What could you achieve if you knew your best is yet to come? Well, guess what.. your best is yet to come.

Your best is yet to come.

Look yourself in the mirror each morning and tell yourself, “my best is yet to come.” My best is yet to come, believe it. Live that belief.

Adopt these seven beliefs and see how your life transforms around you.

Summary
Anyone can achieve a reasonable life. And okay life, an okay job an okay relationship anyone can have this.

If you want a great life, you must commit to leading a great life, to doing things the majority do not want to do.

Commit to thinking like I’m a naughty not like the majority.

7 Things You Should Give Up If You Want to Be Happy

Let’s face it; we all want to be happy. If you didn’t want to be happy you wouldn’t be reading this.

If you want to be happy you don’t need to add more things to your life — you need to give some up.

Here is a list of things that you need to give up to create more happiness in your life.

 

Give Up on Your Fears

We are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds. All other fears we learn from our environment.

Some of us have a fear of snakes. Some of us have a fear of heights, others flying. We all have some kind of fear, but the fears that hold us back the most are the fears that stop is from doing what we want.

You want to change jobs, but fear of the uncertainty that brings keeps you where you are.

You want to attend the evening class, but the fear of what others will think stops you.

Unfortunately, fear and happiness can’t exist at the same time. So, fear becomes a problem.

The best way to give up your fears is to take small steps towards what you fear. If you fear to change jobs, it doesn’t stop you from doing out an up-to-date CV/Resume. It doesn’t stop you from looking for an available position or even applying. It doesn’t even stop you from attending the interview, as you can always decline if you get accepted.

Most people let fear stop them from even taking the first step, which could be as simple as making a phone call or sending an email.

When you take the first step to do the thing you fear you will start to believe that you can take the next step, and the next. Your faith grows, and you will be happier that you are moving towards the life you most desire.

 

Give Up on Your Negative Self-talk

I am my own worst critic. I have a constant conversation going on in my head telling me, “I will never be successful.” When I forget things, it tells me that, “I am such an idiot.”

Negative self-talk leads to poor self-confidence, low self-esteem, and a bad attitude.

Some of the most common forms of negative self-talk include:
Filtering — when you increase the negative and decrease the positive things in your life.
Personalising — when you blame yourself for things that go wrong.
Polarizing — when you only see things as black and white.
• Catastrophizing — when you expect the worst in every situation.

If you want to be happy, you need to get rid of your negative self-talk. Pay attention to your negative self-talk and when you hear it….Stop!

Change your thinking and turn your negative thought into a positive. Change, “I will never be successful” to “I will find a way to make this work.”
“I can’t” to “I will learn.”
“It’s impossible” to “I will give it a try.”

You can change the way you talk about yourself. It will not happen overnight, it will take time, but you can do it. Like scratching a DVD over and over, eventually, the negative thoughts will no longer play.

Learn to be kind, gentle, and encouraging to yourself. Start by not saying anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. Example, If a friend had a chance for a promotion you wouldn’t tell them not to apply because they’ll probably not get it.

 

Give Up on Your Past

“Just because someone screwed up your past, it doesn’t mean you should give them permission to screw up your future.” — Zig Ziglar

We all have a past. It can be filled with good experiences, or it can be filled with negative experiences. If you don’t want your future to look like your past, you have to let go of the baggage that is holding you back.

You have to let go of the people who have held you back, or hurt you. Forgive them, and move on. Once you do that, a huge weight will lift off your shoulders; you will immediately feel lighter.

You will finally be able to let yourself be happy.

I know how hard it can be to let go of the past. Your past shaped who you are today. But remember, the people that hurt you would like nothing better than to know that their actions are still affecting you.

Let them go; they are not worth wasting your time and energy on any more.

Decide either to let the baggage of your past weigh you down or to let it go, so that you can be happy now.

Don’t forget that life is a journey, and not a destination. So, don’t carry the baggage of your past with you. Lighten your load and be a happier traveller.

When you look back, you will be glad that you did.

Give Up on Living Other People’s Dreams

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain

Too many people spend their lives living other people’s dreams. They are living the dreams of their parents, or the dreams of their friends, or the dreams of their social media following. Doing what others are doing.

They are so busy trying to live up to other people’s dreams, that they dismiss their dreams. Thinking they are insignificant.

If you don’t focus on your ambitions and dreams, then you will not be happy. You will never know what you want or need because you will be looking for direction from others.

You only have one life, and you must live it on your terms. Quit living other people’s dreams and find what makes you happy.

Give Up on Seeking the Approval of Others

We all want to be liked, but too many of us are living our lives based on the approval of others. We spend our lives trying to please others by living up to their expectations.

For most of my life I would try to impress others, but the older I got, the more I learnt. You will never please everyone, and even if you do it will not make you happy.

So, permit yourself to stop trying to please others. It doesn’t work.

Instead, focus on what makes you happy.

The second that you decide to be yourself, and to stop trying to please others, you will find that the right people will be drawn to you.

 

Give Up Comparing Yourself to Others

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

There will always be someone smarter, better looking, and more successful than you. Always. You can never win.

So, quit comparing yourself to others. It will not make you happy. Instead, focus on your strengths, the things that make you a remarkable individual.

The day you stop comparing yourself to others is the day that you will become much happier.

 

Give Up Negative People

You cannot expect to live a positive life if you spend time with negative people.They are the people that complain all the time, and run others down.

Negative people will manipulate you to get what they want. And if they don’t get it, they will get angry or upset at you.

You know who they are. Why are you spending time with them? Why are you allowing them to steal your happiness?

If you spend your time with negative and unhappy people, you will become negative and unhappy. If you spend your time with positive and happy people, you have a higher probability of becoming positive and happy. It’s not hard, but we like to make it so.

Happy people know that who they surround themselves with can mean the difference between a happy life and a miserable one.

Stop wasting your time with negative and unhappy people. Get rid of them. It may be difficult in the beginning, but you will be happy that you did.

 

Conclusion

We all get what we tolerate. So, stop tolerating excuses within yourself, stop tolerating limiting beliefs, or fearful states.

Happiness is a choice.

You are in control of your happiness. Every day you get to choose to be happy or not.

Quit making excuses. Quit blaming others. Quit blaming your circumstances. It’s time to take responsibility for your happiness.

You all have gifts and abilities, its time to share them with the world to make it a better place for all.

Enjoy your week.

Wisdom From a Billionaire

steve jobs

You have probably heard of a man called Steve Jobs. He was the co-founder of the computer business Apple.

Steve Jobs was also a writer and today I read the last essay that he wrote as he lay dying. It contained a lot of wisdom.

“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world, ” he said. “In some peoples eyes, my life is the epitome of success but at this moment lying on my bed recording my life I realise that all the recognition, and wealth, that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.”

You can employ someone to drive your car for you, to make money for you but you can not have someone bear your sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost — Life.

Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

Treasure love for your family love for your spouse, love for your friends.

Treat yourself well. Cherish others.”

Despite the best and the most expensive medical care, a lung transplant, the skill of the worlds best doctors Steve Jobs died in the days after he wrote his last essay.

When I put it down, I felt humbled. Inspired. Energised. I had been complaining about a few minor ills when what I should have been doing was celebrating the greatest gift of all,

LIFE.

True happiness does not come from material things. When you have mates and old friends, brothers or sisters who you can chat and talk with, that is true happiness.

The six best doctors in the world are, sunlight, rest, exercise, diet, self-confidence, and friends. Make these things the foundation of your life and everything else will fall into place.

Spend time doing what you love, and with the people that add value to your life

Have a good week. Thanks for reading.

 

 

How To Feel Love and Be Happy — Free Ebook

Many problems that we face come from our relationship with others; often started over trivial matters.

Someone speaks to us in a particular tone. Rather than thinking they may be under stress we can take it personally, shutting them out of our lives, telling others of how much they hurt us by what they said or done.

Unrest of any kind can lead to unhappiness and pain. Life can be complicated; we can feel misunderstood, taken for granted, or hurt.

under3

The problem arises when we let these feelings consume our spirit. We can become critical and judgemental of others, and ourselves. We can become defensive, distant, unwilling to connect with people the way we once did.

Don’t allow bitterness, stubbornness or un-forgiveness extinguish the light of God that’s within your heart.

Feelings of negativity can separate us from His love.

Many people are unhappy because they have allowed negativity to cloud their vision. Living this way can be stressful, frustrating and can damage your relationships, your health and your faith.

When you focus on negativity, it’s almost impossible to see the positives in your life.

If someone hurt you, and you hurt him or her back, it may seem like payback, but it only adds more negativity to the world.

What you give out you will get back in return.

return

Many people focus on their needs instead of focusing on what they can do for others. The result is they are never fulfilled.

Throughout my life, my outlook has been one of happiness with a deep love for everyone. For the longest time, I took this attitude for granted. Recently, however, I decided to encapsulate the reasons behind my philosophy.

The result is my new book, How to Feel Love and Be Happy.

I would like to share with you the ways to live a life of harmony and happiness, which will give you a great feeling of love in your life.

You can download my book free today on Amazon, click on the image below.

Thank you.

 

htflabh-RJM

How to Fulfil Your Dreams, Be Happy, and Overcome Your Fears

fear

I would like to start with a quote from Marianne Williamson.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Although this quote has always inspired me it’s the first part that can be confusing. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Most people tend to believe that they fear not being adequate, that they fear not being good enough, that they fear failure, that they fear not measuring up to others.

When in actual fact there real fear is that they fear their magnificence.

They fear that they could change the world. They fear that they really do have the power to create a life of real meaning. They are afraid to experience their power to create a life of such impact. So they hide behind a false fear… a fear that they are inadequate and they don’t even try to create a life that they enjoy.

The amount of times that I have asked myself who am I to step forward and say this or do that. Who am I to approach that person? Who am I to inspire others to their greatness?

business

Consider how often have you asked yourself these type of questions?

How often have you not done what you wanted to do, to “fit in? To be accepted? To be liked?

Your doing this didn’t serve anyone, least of all yourself.

The funny thing is that when you stop fearing your greatness… when you embrace your God given power, and courageously and boldly step forward into the world declaring your life with confidence (shining your light) you will bring forth the divine power that lives within you.

It is within us all.

When you embrace the fact that you are a child of God with a unique purpose, you will receive a power so great and achieve much more than you ever dreamed of!

And when you embrace your POWER, unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. You inspire others to their greatness! This power is our true fear … and living it is our purpose.

Have a good week.

Rev J Martin

It Must Be Easy For Them

easy for them

The next time this thought creeps into your mind, remember this; it isnt easy for any of us. To oversome the past, to forget the pain we have suffered, to let go, to get up when we are tired, to smile when we feel like crying.

Yet, there is gifts in all experiences and we can make a choice to see the light even in dark places.

Be yourself?

be Yourself-1024x683

You probably heard this a thousand times. What does it actually mean?

This question has had me confused for most of my life. I think I get it, but then I lose it again. No one could be harder on me, than me.

I have my moments where I am at peace, but most of the time I am striving to be the person that I think I need to be, never happy with where I am.

Does being yourself actually mean being happy with who you are, focusing all your awareness on what makes you unique. Embracing what makes you, YOU.

I guess it does.

Yes, everything is not the way I want, but will it ever be? I guess being yourself means connecting with the part of you that never changes.

Appearances may change, but the spirit within remains the same.

With the world at my fingertips, It’s so easy to lose focus of who I am.

In the peace and silence, my want to be more subsides.

bee yourself