7 Things You Should Give Up If You Want to Be Happy

Let’s face it; we all want to be happy. If you didn’t want to be happy you wouldn’t be reading this.

If you want to be happy you don’t need to add more things to your life — you need to give some up.

Here is a list of things that you need to give up to create more happiness in your life.

 

Give Up on Your Fears

We are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds. All other fears we learn from our environment.

Some of us have a fear of snakes. Some of us have a fear of heights, others flying. We all have some kind of fear, but the fears that hold us back the most are the fears that stop is from doing what we want.

You want to change jobs, but fear of the uncertainty that brings keeps you where you are.

You want to attend the evening class, but the fear of what others will think stops you.

Unfortunately, fear and happiness can’t exist at the same time. So, fear becomes a problem.

The best way to give up your fears is to take small steps towards what you fear. If you fear to change jobs, it doesn’t stop you from doing out an up-to-date CV/Resume. It doesn’t stop you from looking for an available position or even applying. It doesn’t even stop you from attending the interview, as you can always decline if you get accepted.

Most people let fear stop them from even taking the first step, which could be as simple as making a phone call or sending an email.

When you take the first step to do the thing you fear you will start to believe that you can take the next step, and the next. Your faith grows, and you will be happier that you are moving towards the life you most desire.

 

Give Up on Your Negative Self-talk

I am my own worst critic. I have a constant conversation going on in my head telling me, “I will never be successful.” When I forget things, it tells me that, “I am such an idiot.”

Negative self-talk leads to poor self-confidence, low self-esteem, and a bad attitude.

Some of the most common forms of negative self-talk include:
Filtering — when you increase the negative and decrease the positive things in your life.
Personalising — when you blame yourself for things that go wrong.
Polarizing — when you only see things as black and white.
• Catastrophizing — when you expect the worst in every situation.

If you want to be happy, you need to get rid of your negative self-talk. Pay attention to your negative self-talk and when you hear it….Stop!

Change your thinking and turn your negative thought into a positive. Change, “I will never be successful” to “I will find a way to make this work.”
“I can’t” to “I will learn.”
“It’s impossible” to “I will give it a try.”

You can change the way you talk about yourself. It will not happen overnight, it will take time, but you can do it. Like scratching a DVD over and over, eventually, the negative thoughts will no longer play.

Learn to be kind, gentle, and encouraging to yourself. Start by not saying anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. Example, If a friend had a chance for a promotion you wouldn’t tell them not to apply because they’ll probably not get it.

 

Give Up on Your Past

“Just because someone screwed up your past, it doesn’t mean you should give them permission to screw up your future.” — Zig Ziglar

We all have a past. It can be filled with good experiences, or it can be filled with negative experiences. If you don’t want your future to look like your past, you have to let go of the baggage that is holding you back.

You have to let go of the people who have held you back, or hurt you. Forgive them, and move on. Once you do that, a huge weight will lift off your shoulders; you will immediately feel lighter.

You will finally be able to let yourself be happy.

I know how hard it can be to let go of the past. Your past shaped who you are today. But remember, the people that hurt you would like nothing better than to know that their actions are still affecting you.

Let them go; they are not worth wasting your time and energy on any more.

Decide either to let the baggage of your past weigh you down or to let it go, so that you can be happy now.

Don’t forget that life is a journey, and not a destination. So, don’t carry the baggage of your past with you. Lighten your load and be a happier traveller.

When you look back, you will be glad that you did.

Give Up on Living Other People’s Dreams

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain

Too many people spend their lives living other people’s dreams. They are living the dreams of their parents, or the dreams of their friends, or the dreams of their social media following. Doing what others are doing.

They are so busy trying to live up to other people’s dreams, that they dismiss their dreams. Thinking they are insignificant.

If you don’t focus on your ambitions and dreams, then you will not be happy. You will never know what you want or need because you will be looking for direction from others.

You only have one life, and you must live it on your terms. Quit living other people’s dreams and find what makes you happy.

Give Up on Seeking the Approval of Others

We all want to be liked, but too many of us are living our lives based on the approval of others. We spend our lives trying to please others by living up to their expectations.

For most of my life I would try to impress others, but the older I got, the more I learnt. You will never please everyone, and even if you do it will not make you happy.

So, permit yourself to stop trying to please others. It doesn’t work.

Instead, focus on what makes you happy.

The second that you decide to be yourself, and to stop trying to please others, you will find that the right people will be drawn to you.

 

Give Up Comparing Yourself to Others

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

There will always be someone smarter, better looking, and more successful than you. Always. You can never win.

So, quit comparing yourself to others. It will not make you happy. Instead, focus on your strengths, the things that make you a remarkable individual.

The day you stop comparing yourself to others is the day that you will become much happier.

 

Give Up Negative People

You cannot expect to live a positive life if you spend time with negative people.They are the people that complain all the time, and run others down.

Negative people will manipulate you to get what they want. And if they don’t get it, they will get angry or upset at you.

You know who they are. Why are you spending time with them? Why are you allowing them to steal your happiness?

If you spend your time with negative and unhappy people, you will become negative and unhappy. If you spend your time with positive and happy people, you have a higher probability of becoming positive and happy. It’s not hard, but we like to make it so.

Happy people know that who they surround themselves with can mean the difference between a happy life and a miserable one.

Stop wasting your time with negative and unhappy people. Get rid of them. It may be difficult in the beginning, but you will be happy that you did.

 

Conclusion

We all get what we tolerate. So, stop tolerating excuses within yourself, stop tolerating limiting beliefs, or fearful states.

Happiness is a choice.

You are in control of your happiness. Every day you get to choose to be happy or not.

Quit making excuses. Quit blaming others. Quit blaming your circumstances. It’s time to take responsibility for your happiness.

You all have gifts and abilities, its time to share them with the world to make it a better place for all.

Enjoy your week.

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Do You Want to Feel More Peace Love and Happiness, and Have a Healthy Life?

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Christmas is a happy time but also a sad time for many. It’s about family, and when that family bond has cracks, then it can be hard.

My dad recently passed away, so this Christmas has not been that great. I never mentioned it before; I guess I didn’t want to write it down or speak it aloud.

It was never an easy relationship as my parent split up 20 years ago, another subject I rarely talk about but I have decided that its time to stop holding onto things and release them in 2019.

I hold too many feelings within, if I had a flaw that would be it. I think of others before myself, putting me at the back of the line.

The problem with that is the fact that over time it wears you down until it gets to the point you lose yourself, and once that happens, it’s tough to find yourself again.

My dad was a deeply religious man, but he held a lot of un-forgiveness in his heart. I tried for years to advise him to change and to see things from my perspective, but he never did.

I have no regrets; I stuck with him through thick and thin. No matter how much he hurt me I never walked away.

I saw a man in pain; I saw a man that lost his way, I saw a man that had thrown everything away. I saw first hand what holding onto un-forgiveness’ can do to a person.

I watched my dad’s health erode over the years and in the end, COPD take him from a 14 stone (200 pounds) energetic, vibrant man to a seven stone (100 pounds) skeleton in the matter of a year.

It’s hard for me to write this, but if my words help one person, then they have fulfilled their purpose. Holding negativity on the inside of you for most of your life will kill your spirit, and rob you of your happiness. You can lose family, friends and most importantly, your peace of mind.

When you talk about forgiveness most people look the other way, it’s something that no one wants to face.

But forgive we must if we are to see a brighter tomorrow.

Take a walk outside and close your eyes. Feel the wind cleanse your spirit, making you brand new.

From today only let love flow through your heart, and I promise you peace joy and happiness will enter your life.

Wishing you, family and friends the most amazing year of your life.

The Best Way To Pray

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When Brother Bruno was at prayer one night, he was disturbed by the croaking of a bullfrog. He tried to ignore the croaking, but all his attempts were unsuccessful. So he shouted from his window, “Quiet! I’m trying to pray.”

And since Bruno was a saint his command was instantly obeyed. Every living creäture within earshot held its voice to create a silence that would be favourable to prayer.

But now another sound intruded on Bruno’s worship- an inner voice that said, “Maybe God is as pleased with the croaking of that frog as with your prayers.”

“Nonsense,” was Bruno’s response “how could God like that sound?” But the voice refused to give up: “Why then do you think God invented that sound?”

The voice unsettled Bruno, so he decided to do some research. He called out once again from his window but this time giving the order, “Sing!”

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The bullfrog started croaking at once; with all the other frogs in the vicinity as a backing group. But as Bruno listened this time he discovered that, if he stopped resisting them, they enriched the silence of the night.

With that discovery, Bruno’s heart became harmonious with the universe and, for the first time in his life he understood what it meant to pray.

Praying is so much more than chanting or a series of words., no matter how profound the words may be. Praying is about paying attention to the world we’re living in, its about paying attention to the presence and power of creation.

The sound of the birds singing at dusk, a flowing stream, or the rustling of the trees in the wind.

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Every sight and sound, whether it be a bird singing, the sound of water, or in Brother Bruno’s experience, a bullfrog, can help us to understand if we pay attention, the precious value of everything in creation.

So this week, take a moment each day to stop and listen to the world around you. Listen to all the sounds that God created, and be thankful.

And the more you listen, the more calmness and certainty will enter your life. And the more that calmness and certainty enters your life the quicker your fears and worries will fade away.

It’s not that they magically disappear, but they no longer have the same power over you.

Each of us has a spiritual journey, but on that journey fear worry and doubt are all dead ends.

Get yourself on the road of acceptance, get yourself on the road of awareness, get yourself on the road of faith. Be happier, healthier and more fulfilled.

Thanks for reading and have a good week.

 

 

Heal The People In Your Life

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Did you know that the words you speak can bring healing to people’s lives?

When you speak words of love, comfort, or encouragement, those words have the power to affect the person hearing them in such a positive way, that the result is health in their body.

For those of you who are parents, your words can impart valuable knowledge to your children, which results in their good health:

Not only do our words have the power to heal, but unfortunately they also have the power to hurt, which can result in sickness.

Careless words can make people feel insecure which can lead to them feeling depressed. The greatest sickness of the 21st century.

As Proverbs 12:18 states: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts..” – and swords kill or cripple people!

When we get into a conflict or argument, our words can diffuse the situation, or make it worse.

Most people are lazy with there words; they fail to understand or appreciate the power they possess. So, they use them unwisely. Saying negative things like, I can’t, I will never, that’s impossible.

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Each of us needs to take responsibility. Responsibility for the words that we use. When you change I can’t to I can; healing energy will flow into your life.

If you have a problem in your relationship, you have two choices, you can be stubborn, or you can choose to sit down with a loved one and admit that you’re in the wrong, even if you’re not. You will often find that when you make the first move the other person will apologise also.

In my new book, The Healing Power of Words I write about the healing power that our words contain.

How they can mend relationships and friendships that have fallen apart.

How negative self-talk can hold you back.

How to create habits that are healthy, not only mentally but also emotionally.

Learn to heal people where ever you go. Control your tongue. Strengthen your family bonds, and nourish the ones you love.

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Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

These are healing words. These are words that instil faith that can restore a person’s life. Like Jesus, we too must speak healing, encouraging, and inspirational words over our lives and the lives of others.

Words that build people up not tear them down. Words that motivate inspire and push people towards their destiny.

The Healing Power of Words is currently on free promotion on Amazon. Get your copy now!

Click the link – Free eBook

Thank you.
Rev J Martin

How Your Phone Can Increase Your Faith

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Try for one day to keep track of every time you pick up your phone. With some research showing that we pick up and put down our phones 150 times a day, just logging it may become a challenge.

Now, I’m not asking you actually to take a note, but for one day try to do a mental one. You will quickly get a sense of how much time you are focused on activities and how much time you are being distracted.

So why am I talking about this today?

Well, as the saying goes, ‘replace a negative with a positive.’ So if you have negative habits replace them with positive ones.

Of course, some people will say I need my phone for my job, etc. that’s not negative. But even I go to my phone to check for an important email and find myself replying to a text message or scrolling through Facebook.

Sometimes forgetting all about the reason I picked the phone up in the first place.

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What I started to do is, I have a 30-second lock on my phone so when I set it down it locks within 30 seconds. And to unlock it I have to put in a password.

Now, I changed this password to the word ‘prayer.’

So every time I open my phone I am reminded to say the short prayer. “Jesus I surrender to your will.” When I started to do this, I was instantly connected to God more each day.

If you’re going through hurt, worry or doubt it can help you detach from it, even if it’s only for a brief moment.

When we get into a state of worry, doubt or anxiety we can lose ourselves for days, weeks, or even months as we are completely absorbed by what is going on in our lives.

It could be a serious situation, and I don’t want to make light of that, it could be something within your family or with a friend or in your community.

But if we lose ourselves in these events and let worry doubt or fear consume our spirits, our faith can weaken as we can question everything.

Certain events can even test our faith, pulling us down, separating us from God.

We can go through a period where we even give up on Him.

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If you find yourself lost in this place, it’s important not to beat yourself up about it. We all have to deal with a certain situation in the best way we know how.

If you tend to use your phone a lot, screens can be locked; screen savers can be put in place, helping us to keep focused on the only thing that matters. Our creator.

You can change your passwords to meaningful positive, motivating words or phrases that help you throughout the day. Each day you are regularly programming your mind with faith.

Just for that split second when you pick up your phone, it can break a negative thought cycle that you may be going through, by connecting you to God. Adding peace to your day

And, when we are more connected, we are more relaxed, we are more centred, we are more at peace.

Whenever you read scripture, prayers or motivational literature, it calms you, and you realise that everything is going to work out.

When you are in the peaceful calm state which prayer brings, you can think level-headedly. You no longer feel from a place of worry, doubt, stress, depression or anxiety, but from a place of faith.

You are coming from a grounded, centred place, and when you come from that place you can see, no matter what is going on in your life, from a new perspective, a fresh perspective, a view you can mirror to the past.

And, in the past, everything worked out, so you know it will work out this time as well.

I wish your self, family and friends a beautiful weekend and may God bless you all, in a 1000 ways.

Thank you for reading
Rev J Martin