The Crossroads of Should and Must?

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There are two paths in life: Should and Must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And each time, we get to choose.

Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we’re supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn’t do. It’s the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us.

When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small.

Must is different—there aren’t options, and we don’t have a choice.

Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self; it’s God calling us to take action to fulfil our destiny.

Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own. Because when we choose Must, we are no longer looking for inspiration out there. Instead, we are listening to our true calling from within, deep within our soul.

Must is the reason that I am writing this post today, the rest of the days I was saying I should write a post. Simple words, but incredibly powerful how they can shape your life.

But if Must is so great, why do we not pick it every day?

Well, it turns out that choosing Must is scary, it’s hard, and can feel a lot like jumping off a high cliff when you can’t see what’s down below.

Must is taking that leap of faith. Must means action.

Grab a piece of paper and write the numbers one through ten on the left side of the page. At the top, title it “What I should do?” This is the things that you have been meaning to do, but for one reason or another have been putting off.

You’ve got ten minutes to write them down.

Go.

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Welcome back.

These are the ten things that are holding you back from living the life that you were destined to live. Ultimately, it’s fear that is stopping you, but you may never admit it.

You may list many excuses; I’m not talented enough yet, I’m not confident enough, I haven’t got the money. I’m too fat, too thin.

Line by line, walk yourself through each one, have a conversation about all of your fears. These are the biggest obstacles standing in your way.

Fear will never go away unless you face it.

Sometimes our greatest fear is that we will achieve great things. There is a famous quote— below.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson. Author, Lecturer

 

You have something special inside of you, and it’s about time you gave your best shot; honor that calling in some small way — today.

Now go back to your list, and stroke out the word should at the top, and write in the word Must; WHAT I MUST DO. Choosing Must needs to be a daily practice, a recurring choice for you to see progress in your life.

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If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between your dreams and your daily reality, take one small step towards it by doing something — today. It could be as simple as checking what options are available or making a call.

If you’ve been peering out over the edge of the cliff but can’t quite make the leap, dig a little deeper and find out what’s stopping you — today.

There is a recurring choice in life, and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again. And today, you get to choose.

Take the word ‘should’ out of your vocabulary; it is such a dangerous word for making a change in your life. I should eat healthy— maybe tomorrow. I should speak up for myself— will it really make a difference? I should look for a new job— I might be unhappy here but at least I can do my job with my eyes closed.

I’m sure you have some of your own, so how do you make the change?

From today change all the should’s to musts; if you find yourself saying should— change it to must.

I must eat healthier, so I have the energy to go for the adventures that I love.

I must speak up for myself, what I have to say matters and is the truth.

I must get a new job; I need a new experience; I want to grow in my personal and spiritual life.

When you make the decision that you MUST do something your mind kicks into action, listing the series of steps that need to be completed. Should is almost an excuse that we use to put things off.

Change a should to a must today; give birth to a chain of events that could change someone’s life.

Have a fantastic week, and remember God only wants the best for you, which means living a life without fear.

 

Rev J Martin

Gain success love and happiness.

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We are born into this world with two fears; fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Every other fear has been learnt.

The good news is anything learnt can be unlearnt. What I have found from my own experience is, behind a fear can lie an opportunity for growth.

Recently a young lady asked me for advice, she worked in an office, it was a well-paid job, but she was unhappy and needed a change but did not know what she could do. I have changed her name at her request.

Explaining this principle, that we can sometimes learn more from our fears than staying in our comfort zone. I asked Olivia to think of a fear she had overcome that made her a stronger person

She was very open to the idea if I believed that it would help.

After some thought, Olivia revealed to me that one of her first jobs was in a major high street clothes shop; a weekend job to help her through college. The job mainly involved getting the clothes ready for sale; tagged, priced, etc.

She picked the job because she didn’t feel confident being on the floor dealing with customers, and the thought of working on the tills was something she dreaded.

Then one Friday evening after she finished her shift, management informed her they were very short staffed for Saturday and needed her on tills. Saturday being one of the busiest days of the week, Olivia panicked.

‘Well, I went straight home and curled up in a ball.” She said, “Fear had gripped me; my mind was quickly filled with doubt.”

She went on to tell me that, thoughts like, what if I make a mistake, what if others laugh at me, what if I forget to remove the security tags, tormented her.

The more questions she asked, the bigger the problem became. Within hours Olivia told me she had stomach pains. She couldn’t eat and found it hard to sleep. Even though it was her worse fear, she knew that it was something she had to do.

That Saturday someone shadowed her for most of the day, which helped her greatly. Olivia explained, “I was slow, I was clumsy, I made mistakes, but it was expected of me.”

Olivia was then told she would be on the floor on a more regular basis. Over the next few weeks and months, her confidence grew; although she still did not like being on the floor alone.

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By the time she left college, Olivia was one of the best till operators in the shop. She could greet the customer, talk to the customer, neatly fold everything into the bag, quicker than everyone else.

It got to the point where she was chosen to go on tills when they wanted the queue down quickly while still maintaining excellent customer service.

Then Olivia’s eyes lit up, I could see ideas were dancing in her head.

“I enjoy communicating and helping people face to face. You have been so helpful, thank you,” she said emotionally.

I reminded her that I had done nothing, she had only become aware of a talent that she possessed.

I share this story today to highlight a point. Behind your greatest fear could be your ultimate skill. Maybe like Olivia you have already discovered it but cast it to one side.

Whatever your fear, unless you confront it; you will never know what’s on the other side.

It could be success, love or happiness.

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Beyond your fears is a world you may never know; part of you that you will never know exists, part of you which could offer so much to the world.

Overcoming fear builds confidence and faith; it expands your character allowing you to grow.

Now I’m not trying to fool you that it will be easy. No no no, it will be one of the hardest things that you have ever done in your life.

And, you will make mistakes.

But over time you will get better. The thing that you once feared will actually become enjoyable, so enjoyable that one day you will tell a story that will make you realize how far you have progressed.

How much you have achieved.

You will have the realization that conquering one fear opened the door to a new world, and your life grew at such an alarming rate that the initial fear almost seems ridiculous.

You will also know if you had shied away from it, you would be living such a different life.

My challenge for you today is to face one of your fears. This may seem like a daunting task, so I will make it easy for you.

Pick something small, something you keep putting off. It could be as simple as making a phone call or signing up for a class or course.

Whatever it is, make a decision to confront it today.

Action creates momentum.

Simple changes have a way of leading to significant results.

 

Have a fantastic week
Rev J Martin