I was brought up in a family that would worry about day to day problems. So, I thought that’s what worry was. Thinking about whether someone was ok or whether a family member would get to their destination safely.
It’s not until a few years ago did I find out how bad worry could get. It all started the moment that I decided to stand up for myself.
Normally a people pleaser I started to say no, as I felt that certain people were taking advantage of my good nature. That simple action started a series of events that took me to my knees.
If someone would have told me the results of standing up for myself, I may never have. Doing what others wanted me to do would have been such an easier option.
Some people, I have discovered, only want you for what you give them. Their friendships are based on a set of conditions.
When you break them condition’s they will make your life very uncomfortable. Certain people tried their best to push me back into the person I was. The people pleaser that never said no, and always did what I was told.
Bullying and emotional abuse is what followed. Not the terms I would have used at the time but terms that my doctor and councillor gave for what the people were doing to me.
At first, I worried whether I had done something wrong, so I decided that keeping out of their way was the best thing to do, but this seemed to fuel the problem.
Of course, I was annoyed and upset but I didn’t think what was happening would lead to anything serious. Then I started to have a pain in my throat and chest. I went to the doctor about it, who said it was stress and to take it easy for a while. So, I did.
When I returned to my regular life it started again, I became afraid of meeting the people giving me so much hostility, so much so that one day I took a mild panic attack.
I returned to my doctor, explaining the situation. He said that what I was describing was bullying. Not until that point did, I regard what was happening as bullying. Now looking back, I was in denial. I never thought that close friends would bully me, but they did.
Getting myself out of that situation was only the beginning. Something had clicked within me. Usually a confident, happy, life loving person, I began to feel anxious, disconnected, and vulnerable.
Every moment of the day was filled with fearful thoughts, I was overflowed with insecurities, and self-doubt. Physically I felt a tightness in my chest most of the day. I was having trouble sleeping and my body was too anxious to enjoy food.
Day after day the feelings were relentless and exhausting. I was trapped on a never-ending emotional rollercoaster and couldn’t find any peace.
Anxiety makes you feel that there is something wrong when there isn’t. It eats away at your confidence and affects every area of your life. I was scared of my own thoughts and bodily sensations, constantly on red alert for the next panic attack.
I spent my days trying to gain back some control by monitoring my feelings and avoiding situations that made me feel anxious.
The turning point came when I decided that I didn’t want to live with anxiety anymore. That decision took me on a quest of discovery. It helped me gain the discipline to do what was necessary to make a recovery.
For me, my anxiety manifested itself because I needed to make certain changes in my life that I didn’t have the courage to make on my own. I was surrounded by people and circumstances that were not good for my mental health. My growth was limited.
What started out as a negative experience turned out to be a positive one. The negative people needed to be removed for me to reach the next level of my destiny.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. It may seem like you will never overcome your relentless worry or crippling anxiety, but I would like you to know today that you can. But you can’t sit inactive
It is pleasant to daydream, wouldn’t it be amazing to be without worry or anxiety, but to make your daydreams come true you have to start walking in their direction. You have to take action.
You have to take the first step, and then the second, the third, and all the steps that separate you from your goal. This is valid for every improvement you would like to make, small or big, relating to your job, health, finance, self-improvement or spirituality.
Make that step today and download my book on Amazon by clicking on the image below.