Vicious Cycle Of Social Fear

lonely

Growing up I found it hard to fit in with others, I never knew the right thing to say, so I didn’t say anything.

I don’t remember what was going on in my mind. I think there was this part of me that just wanted to be me. Not do anything and accept myself being shy.

Then there was the other side of me that wanted to be like all the other children, talking and playing with others.

I wanted to interact but didn’t because I was in the vicious cycle of social fear: I am shy —> I want to play with them —> If I play with them, I’m afraid of what they will say about me —> I don’t want to be rejected —> I will not join them because…—> I am shy.

It took many years of going outside my comfort zone to become the person I am today, and it didn’t happen without a constant battle between the shy me and the real me.

Decide to Step out of the Cycle

The only way you can overcome your fears is to make a conscious decision to step out of the cycle. It is not easy to do this if you have grown into the habit of fear.

Fear will tell you that your not good enough, your not smart enough, who are you to do something different?

When these thoughts arise you must turn them around saying the opposite, I am good enough, I am smart enough, and I believe in my abilities.

When you first start speaking words of faith it might seem like is not making that much difference but as the saying goes, repetition is the mother of skill. When you repeat this over and over, in time your image of yourself will change.

Start Small

I never thought I was smart enough, so I started reading. I was drawn to spiritual and motivational books.

Within weeks I had so much more to talk about with people who helped my confidence and self-worth. It’s not that my personality changed, but I was happier and more relaxed.

I began to discover who I was. A miracle of creation. I found that most of what I feared was in my mind. I found out that I was my own worst enemy.

Would you tell a young child that they are useless, lack intelligence and have no talent? No. Of course not. Why then do we do it to ourselves?

The way you view yourself is very important and can determine your destiny.

Like me, you may not think you’re intelligent enough or know what to say. You may be overweight and don’t think that will ever change. Or maybe your in a job you don’t enjoy but can’t see a way out.

Whatever form fear takes to hold you back, decide today that you’re going to take a small step of faith.

That small step could be as simple as doing out a CV/Resume, or walking 30minutes at lunch or reading a book on a subject that interests you.

A Step of Faith Is Taking Small Step in the Right Direction

Facing fear scares people as they think they have to overcome it all at once, but it doesn’t work that way.

Overcoming fear is about taking small steps of faith. Each step is taking you closer and closer to a life without fear.

Take a small step towards your destiny today, and tomorrow, and the next day. And watch the big change it will make.

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Do You Want to Feel More Peace Love and Happiness, and Have a Healthy Life?

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Christmas is a happy time but also a sad time for many. It’s about family, and when that family bond has cracks, then it can be hard.

My dad recently passed away, so this Christmas has not been that great. I never mentioned it before; I guess I didn’t want to write it down or speak it aloud.

It was never an easy relationship as my parent split up 20 years ago, another subject I rarely talk about but I have decided that its time to stop holding onto things and release them in 2019.

I hold too many feelings within, if I had a flaw that would be it. I think of others before myself, putting me at the back of the line.

The problem with that is the fact that over time it wears you down until it gets to the point you lose yourself, and once that happens, it’s tough to find yourself again.

My dad was a deeply religious man, but he held a lot of un-forgiveness in his heart. I tried for years to advise him to change and to see things from my perspective, but he never did.

I have no regrets; I stuck with him through thick and thin. No matter how much he hurt me I never walked away.

I saw a man in pain; I saw a man that lost his way, I saw a man that had thrown everything away. I saw first hand what holding onto un-forgiveness’ can do to a person.

I watched my dad’s health erode over the years and in the end, COPD take him from a 14 stone (200 pounds) energetic, vibrant man to a seven stone (100 pounds) skeleton in the matter of a year.

It’s hard for me to write this, but if my words help one person, then they have fulfilled their purpose. Holding negativity on the inside of you for most of your life will kill your spirit, and rob you of your happiness. You can lose family, friends and most importantly, your peace of mind.

When you talk about forgiveness most people look the other way, it’s something that no one wants to face.

But forgive we must if we are to see a brighter tomorrow.

Take a walk outside and close your eyes. Feel the wind cleanse your spirit, making you brand new.

From today only let love flow through your heart, and I promise you peace joy and happiness will enter your life.

Wishing you, family and friends the most amazing year of your life.