When you fear— what do you do?

You paint pictures in your mind, sometimes very vivid ones, about how your not smart enough, talented enough or attractive enough.

What are you really doing —You’re telling yourself stories.

You are the main character and fear likes to take you down a dark road, where there is no moon, or lights up ahead. The further you go— the darker it gets. Each step you take is less and less certain— so you slow down, until you stop, retreating back the way you came.

walking down a dark roadIt sure is dark down here…

Then we try to justify our decision with the fact that we didn’t really need the new job, didn’t really need to do the course, or attend the seminar.

I’m happy enough where I am anyway. And where is that?

The comfort zone.

Childhood Fears

Remember when you were a child the stories that you would tell your self. I don’t know if you had the same fear as me but I was afraid of the dark.

Looking back, was it really the dark though?

Not really.

It was the fact that in my imagination it was not an empty room. As children our minds are open, so every monster, vampire or werewolf we have ever seen or read about could possible be in that darkness.

turn_off_the_light_What’s that sound?

I remember turning on the light, reassuring myself that all was ok. Checking all the wardrobes and underneath the bed.

When the light went out again the fear did subside only to return. What was I really doing?

I was telling myself a story, replaying a film or something that I heard or read. I was just told I had a very vivid imagination, and I would grow out of it.

We may grow up but that child remains, we simply tell ourselves a different set of stories, the vampires and the werewolf’s are replaced with, the story, I’m not good enough.

Fears A Good Thing

If you haven’t felt fear in a long time you may think that is a good thing— but its not. Why you may ask?

Because it means that you are living in a comfort zone. The comfort zone is not a happy place, but it’s comfortable.

People work jobs they hate, why?  Because its comfortable.

People stay in relationships they are not happy in, why? Because it is comfortable.

Rather than step out and do their own thing, most people just have a look around and do what other people are doing.

Its like the blind leading the blind.

What I have learnt from experience is this, before you follow other people— LOOK AT WHERE THEIR GOING— because that is where they are taking you.

The average person tiptoes through life hoping to make it safety to the other side. What a dumb game; life is not a practice run, we get one shot at it. Mark twain famously said, do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.

Usually when we fear something we have a story in our heads of how we think things will play out.

fear gifIts just our shadow. GET ME OUTTA HERE

The story just plays over and over until the fear can turn to anxiety, you can begin to sweat, feel uncomfortable, and start to feel knots in your stomach, maybe even leading to sleepless nights.

When you actually confront your fears you quickly realize that it is never as bad as you first imagined, plus you have a sense of achievement; which drives you on.

Well it may seem like I have taken you down a dark path but there is a light at the end of it.

Just like you tell yourself a story where everything goes wrong— you can start to tell yourself a story where everything goes right.

Next time you step out of our comfort zone, instead of pulling up a chair and listening to Mr Fear’s story, tell him a story of faith. A story where you win. A story where you are the hero.

In time you will realize there was only one story teller. You’ve been looking into a mirror the whole time.

mirror

So I challenge you to face your fears embracing the concept of story telling. So instead of I will probably fall flat on my face, change it to, I will soar above the clouds.

Thanks for reading.

Tell yourself a story of faith today. 🙂

5 thoughts on “How I Overcome my Fears and Left The Comfort Zone Behind

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